My daughter-in-lay may have BPD

[Kate2021]

She is very high functioning.  My son has suspected for about 3 years, but there has not been a diagnosis.  We have all enabled her to keep the peace, myself included. I have been consumed with this recently as she has distanced herself from me and I have not seen my grandchildren. I am feeling angry at her and my son.  This is self destructive behavior and I am considering therapy.  This is my first visit to a chat room of any kind.   

[formflier]

I'm so glad you found us and I'm honored you have chosen us for your first online forum post!

I want to assure you that we "get it" and we can help you sort through the confusing world of "BPDish behavior".

What does it look like or "mean" that you guys have "enabled her to keep the peace"?

Separate question...how has enabling worked?  Has it changed over time?

Best,

FF