Intro

[Depression = 72% of members]

I’m new to this group. First post. I’ve been married to my wife for 30 years. While she’s not been formally diagnosed, at least two mental health professionals who know her have told me she’s classic BPD. In addition, she has major sexual trauma from childhood and suffers from crippling fear, depression, anxiety, and other issues. As for me, I’m a 31 year sober alcoholic. I asked her to marry me while drunk, got sober, and then married her at the age of 24.  I could write a book, but I’m not ready to throw in the towel on our relationship. I made a commitment and still desire to honor that commitment (marriage). That said, I need to figure out how to regain a happy life while my wife’s mental instability is unlikely to change.

[Duffer]

I’m new to this group. First post. I’ve been married to my wife for 30 years. While she’s not been formally diagnosed, at least two mental health professionals who know her have told me she’s classic BPD. In addition, she has major sexual trauma from childhood and suffers from crippling fear, depression, anxiety, and other issues. As for me, I’m a 31 year sober alcoholic. I asked her to marry me while drunk, got sober, and then married her at the age of 24.  I could write a book, but I’m not ready to throw in the towel on our relationship. I made a commitment and still desire to honor that commitment (marriage). That said, I need to figure out how to regain a happy life while my wife’s mental instability is unlikely to change.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

It’s good to realize that she’s unlikely to change. And that you’re willing to do what it takes to better things is wonderful 

Tell us more about the issues that arise in your relationship.

Here’s an article that might be helpful: https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship