Is it possible for someone to have Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Diso

[Giulietta]

I do have a question though. Is it possible for someone to have Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder? I suspect he has both as he can be incredibly cold and cruel, never apologizes, has an incredible sense of entitlement and illusions of grandeur. He always has to be the best at everything, stay in the best hotel, eat at the best restaurant, go to the best, most famous doctor, and so on and so forth, and is always bragging about how rich he is (which he isn't, his mother is a respected dermatologist and they lead a very good life, high standards and all, but have no actual property, once she stops working, it's all over). He also seems to think that everyone is jealous of them. I have the impression that he not only has both disorders, but is also a classic textbook case of both, if this is at all possible. I am, however, no expert in this field.

[csquare319]

Is it possible for someone to have Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Highly probable. It's estimated that 27% pwBPD are also diagnosed with NPD. The BPD/NPD comorbidity is the most challenging case for clinicians to deal with, and one way to tell is that the emotional abuse these co-morbid individuals dish out to those interacting with them are extra hurtful and damaging. The general consensus among mental health professionals is that with enough work, though unlikely, pwBPD can recover from their mental disease, but there is almost no chance for a pwNPD/BPD to fully recover.

I am no expert, but from your description it's highly likely that he has both these disorders, and you are absolutely doing the right thing by separating yourself from him as widely as possible. In my opinion, people diagnosed with bpd/npd should be locked up in mental institutions, instead of being allowed to roam freely, causing immeasurable damages to people, relationships and society in general.

[Giulietta]

Highly probable. It's estimated that 27% pwBPD are also diagnosed with NPD. The BPD/NPD comorbidity is the most challenging case for clinicians to deal with, and one way to tell is that the emotional abuse these co-morbid individuals dish out to those interacting with them are extra hurtful and damaging. The general consensus among mental health professionals is that with enough work, though unlikely, pwBPD can recover from their mental disease, but there is almost no chance for a pwNPD/BPD to fully recover.

I am no expert, but from your description it's highly likely that he has both these disorders, and you are absolutely doing the right thing by separating yourself from him as widely as possible. In my opinion, people diagnosed with bpd/npd should be locked up in mental institutions, instead of being allowed to roam freely, causing immeasurable damages to people, relationships and society in general.

I understand. His cruelty can get incredibly scary when you see it, it's like he turns into somebody else, very Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And apparently he feels no remorse whatsoever. When he does come back, after some time, he acts as if nothing had happened, or as if what happened was just not a big deal. Thanks for the help!

[yeeter]

I will simply reinforce G:  It is certainly possible.  Highly highly unlikely there can be much progress or improvement.

[MeandThee29]

Yes, my ex had both formal diagnoses, done by a PhD clinical psychologist. I knew that he had quit therapy when she confronted him with how full of himself he was. She told him he was going to blow up our family again (there was a previous separation and suicide attempt) unless he got serious about changing. I had been seeing her myself for awhile, and after we separated, she told me how both diagnoses interacted. He was many states away by then and ended up never coming back here to live.

It took me quite awhile to put it all together, but I came to see that unless he underwent major internal change, I couldn't be with him. Of course he was claiming all sorts of change, but I know that people like this temporarily get better when they are away from the target of blame. If they are around the target again, it will all come back. I just wasn't seeing it in some of the details that he was requiring of me.

He chose a burn-the-bridges approach during the divorce and closeout which he initiated, and that confirmed it. No change. I kept hoping for a rational, efficient approach, and it just never happened. He fought ever little piece and more.

[Cromwell]

Hi Giulietta

I did also suspect my ex might have had NPD.

The conclusion of it all was, I cant prove it, im not a psychiatrist and so on. But the point beyond it is, how she behaved, I made a diagnosis of my own - it was deplorable, it was unhealthy, and that was good enough for 'me' to make the choice to go no contact.

[Giulietta]

He chose a burn-the-bridges approach during the divorce and closeout which he initiated, and that confirmed it. No change. I kept hoping for a rational, efficient approach, and it just never happened. He fought ever little piece and more.

I'm very sorry you had to go through this. It's similar to what I've been going through, all sorts of problems, except that in my case, thankfully we weren't married. He still stole from me though and abused me verbally. Lately he had been suggesting that we should share a flat as roommates. I was never going to accept, as I knew my life was going to be hell. Still, it's very disturbing: he also attempted suicide a few times, and I've just learned that, aside from all other things, last week he had a psychotic crisis and tried to strangle his own mother. Apparently the only reason he did not succeed was that her fiancé showed up and managed to stop him. I hear they have now committed him to a psychiatrical hospital or something. I've learned about this because their attorney told my attorney, and well, she's just told me. This is very shocking to me, I knew he was problematic to say the least, but I had no idea he was so ill or that I was in such danger. We had just spent a weekend together so it could have been me. I'm very upset.

[letmeout]

Yes, my ex had both NPD and BPD plus he was a Sociopath. These disorders can be co-morbid which leads to an awful cocktail of what I recall as utter insanity.

The last year of our marriage his Dr Jekyll persona disappeared and Mr Hyde took complete control. That was ten years ago, I remember the struggle and the recovery from the trauma caused by him and his behaviors.

I feel really blessed that I was able to go complete no-contact, but now he is messing with our grandkid's heads, which leads me back to this forum.

[FindingMe2011]

What you seem to be describing appears to be NPD to the fullest extent. A narcissist will lean towards the sadist side. A borderline will lean towards the masochism side. The problem with this, is that one cant function without the other and a sick dependency ensues. These positions are also interchangeable as to make the water a little more cloudy. This would depend on whom is taking the persecutor role, and whom is taking on the victim role. Just as the Karpmans Triangle dictates, the roles are interchangeable. The only way to get off the crazy train is as the victim. I hope this helps a little. Peace

[Vincenta]

Hi Giulietta,

My therapist was convinced that my ex BPD partner has also NPD or at least very strong NPD traits, - a far diagnosis I did not want to accept and I refused to hear ( hashtag cognitive dissonance here) ..until everything then later unfortunately proved that my therapist was right from the beginning . 

How are you now, dear Giulietta? Must have been quite a traumatic experience, I mean also including the latest very violent developments?

Warmly,

Vincenta

[Giulietta]

Thanks guys! Your answers have been extremely helpful.

How are you now, dear Giulietta? Must have been quite a traumatic experience, I mean also including the latest very violent developments?

Hello dear V, thank you so much for asking. I think I'm alright all things considered, honestly I expected to be crying and suffering, and it hasn't been like that. I have mild anxiety issues (already had before this incident) and with everything that happened, I've lost some of the improvement I had made, but I'm seeing a very good psychiatrist and he's helping me, and I'm also making an appointment with a therapist. I also practice a lot of sports, which helps. I'm still angry though, so I'm trying to put that energy into something useful. I've always wanted to study psychology, or at least read more about it, and this is a pretty good opportunity. This site is an incredible source of information, I'm so glad I've found it and I'm reading everything I can. I think things will adjust themselves in due course.

Thank you, love!

[Vincenta]

Hi Giulietta,

Great - You should be very proud of yourself! Go girl go!