Why now

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Just before last Christmas my BPD mom casually told me that for the first three years of my life we lived with her aunts. I had always been told my parents got married and 12 months later I came along, not quite. She then refused to provide any details and has now got the rest of the family gaslighting me, par for the course.

I offered to talk with her about it in treatment and she totally blew that off.

I’m at my wits end with her.

What are peoples feelings on why she’d drop that now and run ?  Any insight appreciated. Thanks

[MurphysLaw]

Just before last Christmas my BPD mom casually told me that for the first three years of my life we lived with her aunts. I had always been told my parents got married and 12 months later I came along, not quite. She then refused to provide any details and has now got the rest of the family gaslighting me, par for the course.

I offered to talk with her about it in treatment and she totally blew that off.

I’m at my wits end with her.

What are peoples feelings on why she’d drop that now and run ?  Any insight appreciated. Thanks

[bethanny]

Unrecovered BPD parents are master manipulators.  Will drop their manipulation bombs, saved for the right moment, to disorient and confuse their children.  If they can "confuse" us, it helps "fuse us" "with" them. 

Maybe it was her shame or the collective family shame to lie. A longstanding collusion.  Geeeez.

If only other family would fill you in.  Natural curiosity and also grief and gobsmacking confusion must have been triggered for you, since you have been lied to so dramatically since you were born. 

Part of the roller coaster ride. 

Trying to put together my own puzzle of my mother's profound wounding of me.  Some family members capable of some sympathy.  Also capable of colossal denial and minimization themselves re reality.

Good luck.