How do I get her back?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello,

I am a 23 year old man, and I broke up with my exwBPD 3 and a half weeks ago. This was my first relationship and we dated for 2 months. We are both taking online classes, and I was seeing her almost every day when we were together.

About a month into the relationship, she told me that she was insecure And would be constantly afraid of me cheating on her. I assume this was because not only her parents engaged in infidelity but my ex herself was cheated on, based off what she told me. Regardless of how much I told her I wasn’t that type of guy or how I’d never do that to her, week after week, for about a month, she would accuse me of cheating and suggest that we break up. I would cry when she would say such things and told her that for any relationship to workout there needs to be trust.

I would take her on kickass dates and spend the night and the sex was great. But regardless of how great our time spent together was, she would become cold on a weekly basis. It only got worse and worse as each week went forward, until one day she looked me in this eyes and told me that she bet she could find someone somewhere else that could treat her better than I do. I asked how could she say that after all of our moments together. After she said that I called it quits.

Two days later, I caved and I sent her a message telling her that she means to much to me to just lose forever. She ended up saying that she appreciated me reaching out to her but what’s done is done and that she’s “not able to go backwards”. I then told her that I still loved her to which she didn’t send anything after that.

I ended things because our moments were being defined by these fights and the aftermath of them and it was becoming increasingly toxic. I’ve been no contact for 3 weeks and 1 day now. But I still miss her dearly and I really want to see her again and try to patch things up.

What should I do? What would yield the best chances for success at reversing this break up? Any advice or thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Thank You,
Deep Blue

[Deep Blue]

Hello,

I am a 23 year old man, and I broke up with my exwBPD 3 and a half weeks ago. This was my first relationship and we dated for 2 months. We are both taking online classes, and I was seeing her almost every day when we were together.

About a month into the relationship, she told me that she was insecure And would be constantly afraid of me cheating on her. I assume this was because not only her parents engaged in infidelity but my ex herself was cheated on, based off what she told me. Regardless of how much I told her I wasn’t that type of guy or how I’d never do that to her, week after week, for about a month, she would accuse me of cheating and suggest that we break up. I would cry when she would say such things and told her that for any relationship to workout there needs to be trust.

I would take her on kickass dates and spend the night and the sex was great. But regardless of how great our time spent together was, she would become cold on a weekly basis. It only got worse and worse as each week went forward, until one day she looked me in this eyes and told me that she bet she could find someone somewhere else that could treat her better than I do. I asked how could she say that after all of our moments together. After she said that I called it quits.

Two days later, I caved and I sent her a message telling her that she means to much to me to just lose forever. She ended up saying that she appreciated me reaching out to her but what’s done is done and that she’s “not able to go backwards”. I then told her that I still loved her to which she didn’t send anything after that.

I ended things because our moments were being defined by these fights and the aftermath of them and it was becoming increasingly toxic. I’ve been no contact for 3 weeks and 1 day now. But I still miss her dearly and I really want to see her again and try to patch things up.

What should I do? What would yield the best chances for success at reversing this break up? Any advice or thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Thank You,
Deep Blue

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jabiru]

Hi Deep Blue It sounds tough to go through that. If you've let her know you're there for her, it may be best to leave it at that and give her more time to process everything. Take some time for yourself and do things you enjoy. Hope things go well.