Its becoming weird

[Cromwell]

After my online diatribe to my bpdex i moments later got a message. Its an American girl I've had the hots for now since the Pandemic but its awkward. Im double her age and i just pushed it off like a crush. She gets tons of attention on social media but never seen her in a relationship. Ive been in a 'f it' mood and a bit unstable with my thoughts. She wants to meet up and go surfing together. I said i dont knowhow to but we could go wetsuit shopping for something that would suit her style and she said she'd love that with a heart.

I just don't know. My ex was half my age there's always issues. I do look younger but there's an age gap. Is it bpd? Is it daddy issues? Am i coward to at least find out? Why don't the 20 somethings take these opportunities, i suppose in my 20s id not even see her in my league.

Maybe im just destined for a fall but maybe when you already hit rock bottom there's no ego to lose nothing more to break.

At the moment i feel the same overwhelmed anticipation i haven't had since a teenager and since meeting bpd e,lx. I guess it doesn't matter if I can swim or not I don't think she cares about that.as Lenin would say 'what is to be done "?

[Cromwell]

I know this is not a dating advice site but i think support should be there to those transition from these relsitonhship styles. How after the healing do i know its not out of the frying pan info.the fire

[SinisterComplex]

So Crom, you want some feedback. Before I provide anything of substance I just want to ask you. What are your instincts telling you? The most important thing is that if you are feeling any kind of apprehension or thought process like is too good to be true well then listen to yourself.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-