What do you think / feel is the trigger for an episode of pwBPD?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I find that sometimes there are 10-11 days of peace, but sometimes an episode comes after only a day or two. Why?
Since I've started writing a diary, I've noticed that most of the times episodes come in 3-4 day intervals. But for examples until today there was a much longer peaceful period, almost 11 days.
Couple of days before this period we had a major incident where she hit me on the head for the first time because I tried to "do something different", basically I did not just listen and wait for it to pass, but I started pointed out, in a really peaceful way, that she is raising the tension for no reason... did not go well.
So I started to totally take care not to "put out fire with gasoline" and now I am not shure if this longer period has something to do with this? Or is it because she realised she went to far and is now self regulating in a better way?
So, any thoughts on the intervals between episodes, and what triggers them?

[olafinski]

I find that sometimes there are 10-11 days of peace, but sometimes an episode comes after only a day or two. Why?
Since I've started writing a diary, I've noticed that most of the times episodes come in 3-4 day intervals. But for examples until today there was a much longer peaceful period, almost 11 days.
Couple of days before this period we had a major incident where she hit me on the head for the first time because I tried to "do something different", basically I did not just listen and wait for it to pass, but I started pointed out, in a really peaceful way, that she is raising the tension for no reason... did not go well.
So I started to totally take care not to "put out fire with gasoline" and now I am not shure if this longer period has something to do with this? Or is it because she realised she went to far and is now self regulating in a better way?
So, any thoughts on the intervals between episodes, and what triggers them?

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[formflier]

that she is raising the tension for no reason... did not go well.
 

Do you see how you (in this instance) actually poured gasoline on a small fire and turned it into (kaboom)?

Can I get you to reflect on this and offer a few examples that would likely be less triggering?  Maybe a couple of thoughts as to "why" your new examples are less triggering.

To your question...some sort of emotional upset, which even they themselves may not be able to articulate.  Or perhaps better said...the inability to "handle" an emotional upset.

What's the "theme" in my answer to your question?

Best,

FF

[once removed]

what was the argument about that led to the kaboom? thats pretty vital.

emotional dysregulation episodes are caused by the same things that upset you, or me (and that may differ from person to person) but just tend to be more extreme than you or i might express them.

those causes generally may be:

rejection sensitivity
fear (of any number of things)
not feeling heard/feeling invalidated

in my own relationship, i found that more often than not, the underlying feeling was valid, but expressed in an over the top way.

[olafinski]

OnceRemoved,
you are totally right. Reasons are always solid. Its just the intensity thats way off.