Fun topic: Share the dumbest allegation made against you

[BigOof]

Please share the dumbest allegation made against you.

I'll go first: Sexual assault of stbx while I was at work in a different state.

[ForeverDad]

I have two...

When we first separated, all she could come up with was the time a few months earlier when my son had tipped his bike at a local park.  He was stopped, with training wheels, so not even a bruise.  He did get seen at a hospital but it wasn't "abuse" or even "neglect".

A couple years later when we were nearing the end of our two year divorce case, the school nurse called me about a missing vaccination saying she couldn't reach son's mother and so called me.  I agreed to make an appointment at the pediatrician's office and later informed my then-stbEx.  She then immediately called the pediatrician's office and ranted to the staff, even cursing them out for letting me make the appointment.  Our kind doctor put the incident in his file to "fire her" and they sent her a politely vague "withdrawal of services" letter.

Evidently she was so fired up (pun) — knowing that I would eventually find out and use it against her — that when she took him down to the local children's hospital again, he echoed her claims (the first time ever!) that the bruises on his legs were from me beating him on his shins.  Because he echoed her, not because they believed it since he was described as an active 5 year old, they forwarded a report to CPS.  This was the first and only time I was called in for an actual interview.  After I told them he had told me he didn't know how he got his bruises, he said maybe he got them when he was on the monkey bars at a part with his mother.  It was then they told me they'd already interviewed him at what they saw as a neutral location, his school.  I asked for a letter documenting their decision to close the case.  I was frustrated at the verbal interactions.  So I was mailed a letter stating it was "unsubstantiated".  I had been expecting a stronger "unfounded" but in all those incidents I never got that declaration, apparently quite rare.

So I pondered how to explain to my young son what lies were.  I tracked down a Clifford the Big Red Dog book titled "T-Bone Tells the Truth".  That was helpful.

[BigOof]

her claims (the first time ever!) that the bruises on his legs were from me beating him on his shins.

Ditto.

[I Am Redeemed]

This is going to sound absolutely crazy, but...

Over 4 years ago, just before I left ex, he was was using drugs heavily which escalated the paranoia he had even when sober.

He got it into his head that he had some condition that made his body unable to process protein, making him sick (he denied the drugs were the cause of his deteriorating health).

One morning, he accused me of trying to kill him because I made eggs for breakfast. He claimed I knew of his "condition" and deliberately tried to murder him with scrambled eggs.

[hands down]

Poisoning the lunch I made which was the first... that escalated to - Mafia connections, Mafia hits, owning high powered sniper rifles (which was pellet gun I used with my son for fun), tracking with gps, breaking into home, throwing bee cans in the back of her truck, hacking phones and computers etc.  All so mindblowingly crazy i didn't take any of them seriously... they felt like a cartoon, a bad movie...

until one day..

My bail was $400k and I sat in jail 81 days facing 6+ years for that, data theft and hacking - et al.

 

[BigOof]

My bail was $400k and I sat in jail 81 days facing 6+ years for that, data theft and hacking - et al.

Did you sue for malicious prosecution?

[ForeverDad]

That's a long time for them to get around to realizing there wasn't any proof.  Of course, they probably claimed it was your responsibility to defend yourself (while incarcerated for months).

This reminds me of a case described in 2011 where the defendant/father was eventually released after over two months, mainly due to a sales register receipt that documented he wasn't in two places at once.  It took even longer for the courts to allow him to see his young son.

A father's rare win: "Factually Innocent"
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=336892.0

[judee]

Making him feel disgusting by cleaning his windowframes.
Going off limits by saying omicron is very contagious.. it is insulting because he has the most knowledge of science and how dare I assume that is news to him.
I have so many,...This is fun.

[judee]

And the scrambled egg poisoning story  is brilliant. 

[WhatToDo47]

Left me, told me not to be home when she came to get her things. I wasn’t, she came and got them. Later found out she went to the leasing office when she was there, told them I had locked her out, was abusive, was inside the apartment, called the police, had 3 police cars come. We are still separated and have spoken and she hasn’t mentioned this to me at all.

Lots of others over the years too like always claiming I was purposefully under feeding the dog to save money, I was secretly gay, had an STD, etc.

[PeteWitsend]

Dumbest allegation against me... hmmm...

I guess before divorce, it would have to be one of the nearly constant affairs I was accused of.  One I remember...  

after a pitch meeting with my employer's agency, they gave me a small notebook with their branding on it (along with other corporate marketing junk, like a pen and lanyard).  I brought the notebook home from work in my laptop bag, along with a card I got for my ex-wife for our upcoming anniversary. I forget what the card looked like, but had the words "You're Just My Type" on it, with a typewriter or something.  

After I got home, I dropped my bag off, and went into the bathroom to wash up.  When I came out, I saw the card and notebook laid out on the dinner table, Law-enforcement-drug-bust-style.  My ex-wife stood next to the table glowering at me, then, screamed "WHO IS YOUR TYPE?  TELL ME WHO SHE IS."

I was (as usual) caught off guard, and said "I got you that card for our anniversary."  Apparently she assumed I would give my mistress the gift of a small notebook with an ad agency's logo on it?  

I don't remember how the rest of the incident ended; I think she just walked away angry.

A week later when she opened her anniversary card and saw it was the same one she accused me of buying for someone else, she threw it aside and walked away.  

BONUS DUMB ALLEGATION: earlier in my marriage, my BPDxw went through a shoebox of old photos I had.  These were a mix of family photos and friends, and went back over 30 years time.  In that whole box, she found one (1) pic of me with an ex-girlfriend sitting at a football game (over 10 years before) and went ballistic, throwing the picture at me when I got home from work and screaming at me while I held our daughter (then ~6 mos old), because OF COURSE I was only keeping this one (1) picture because I was still in love with the girl.  

So I threw the picture out, and went through the box throwing out any other pictures of me with girls who I was not related to, whether or not they were ex-girlfriends or not... no more high school homecoming or prom pics, no more group pics with friends of both genders, etc.  Small price to pay to maintain marital bliss.

Well... some of these pictures were developed, in The Ancient Times, back when they would give you a copy of the film negatives.  I totally forgot I had those, because for years I had been taking digital photos, but nevermind...

The next day while I was at work, my Ex-wife went back through the box & found the negatives in an envelope.  She then went through them each (I imagine her holding them up to the light one after the other), until she found the negative of the Football Game picture, and accused me of keeping it so I could make a copy as soon as she forgot about everything.  

This time she didn't scream; instead she adopted the victim status, said she was disappointed in me, and realized she could never trust me again.  

Nevermind the trust issues implicit in surreptitiously going through your partner's belongings and ambushing them over old pictures without giving them a chance to explain themselves... no, I was the one who violated our trust.  

[chinchilla_dad]

So my first one Made a couple of assault charges stick.  Ended up doing 30 days And losing my career.

My second one Put in the police report For the restraining order That:

I got drunk And almost crashed us into a telephone pole After I picked her up from work (Not sureWhy I would've been picking her up for work)

I pushed her and she fell And hurt her leg (Also drunk)

I kick the dog And threaten to kill the dog Which I do to control her

I tried to kill herIn jujitsu class (Kind of the point But hey)

One time in jujitsu it got so bad That he took the entire class And the instructor To pull me off of her (Apparently The security footage got lost and this very reparable instructor Let this happen constantly in his classes)

I consistently drink A handle Of alcohol every day

She constantly fears for her life

My mother also abuses her Emotionally (Something about ControllingWhat she was eating?)

I stole $20,000 from her

I was controlling her career

Oh Almost forgot, I tried to steal her coffee maker

[PeteWitsend]

...

I tried to kill herIn jujitsu class (Kind of the point But hey)

One time in jujitsu it got so bad That he took the entire class And the instructor To pull me off of her (Apparently The security footage got lost and this very reparable instructor Let this happen constantly in his classes)

...

These are the best ones.  I love when their allegations fail the "common sense" standard, but that doesn't stop thme

Why would she keep going to a jujitsu class with someone who was trying to kill her? 

[chinchilla_dad]

I guess it is the quasi-psychosis.  She also couldn't keep your story straight and told different People conflicting things And then was confused When they talked to each other And didn't believe her.

And of course She only started taking jujitsu Because of all the other abuse That may or may not have happened in her past.  And I'm abusive for helping her to learn how to fight me and act like a human ragdoll for her.  *shrug*

[HeWho]

I guess it is the quasi-psychosis.  She also couldn't keep your story straight and told different People conflicting things And then was confused When they talked to each other And didn't believe her.

And of course She only started taking jujitsu Because of all the other abuse That may or may not have happened in her past.  And I'm abusive for helping her to learn how to fight me and act like a human ragdoll for her.  *shrug*

I can relate to this. I encouraged her to start doing MMA and taught her BJJ/grappling (Purple soon to be brown belt). I've always stressed protecting herself when I'm not there. So even though I'm literally trying to teach her self defense she's afraid for her life and fears I'll hurt her. That's pretty counterproductive of me I think.

[I Am Redeemed]

And the scrambled egg poisoning story  is brilliant. 

Right? I have to laugh when I think about it now.

[chinchilla_dad]

I'll jump in on behalf of another guy:

He told me his BPD Suddenly attacked him when he was sleeping By digging her Nails into his neck.  He kicked her off the bed And she went and called the cops And told them that there were some strange man in her house That attacked her and she doesn't know who he is.  They got there and the house was filled with Pictures of the two of them together And all the injuries were his.  I forget exactly what happens next But I'm pretty sure She took off down the street never to be seen again Leaving her young daughter From another relationship With this guy. 

[ForeverDad]

This wasn't me but my lawyer told me the "nice but clueless" guy was my religion.  I believe at first he thought I was just as nice and just as clueless.

My lawyer told me these examples.  He had a client who drove the interstate highway to and from work [as I did].  His order said not to go within 1000 feet or so of his ex.  Well, she worked in a building near the interstate and she claimed he was violating the order by driving past in the limited access highway.   Another client, described as nice but clueless, had a contrived restraining order against him but his divorce decree said he had to deliver wood to his ex's home.  So he was required to do something that his other order prohibited.  He would have been better just not doing it but since she needed wood, he delivered it.  Maybe it would have worked if he had someone else deliver it, I don't know.  His reward for compliance?  He was jailed for the violation.

[15years]

I hate my family but take it out on her - almost believed that one for xx years.

I hate my ex-girlfriends (from when i was 12-15 years old) and project that hate onto her.

I pretend to like "perverse stuff" just to please my family

My only sexual preference is her and I've pretended to like everyone else but her, just to hurt her.

I've never made her feel pretty because I'm jealous of her - Never took this one that personally.

I like her better when she's abused

I wanted to have sex as soon as possible when we met on weekends when we were teenagers --> not sure but I think she said that was date rape

Asking me how it feels to be able to relate to Chris Noth

That kind of stuff, more covert than overt accusations I guess?

[ILMBPDC]

Evidently she was so fired up (pun) — knowing that I would eventually find out and use it against her — that when she took him down to the local children's hospital again, he echoed her claims (the first time ever!) that the bruises on his legs were from me beating him on his shins. 

This is so interesting - my friend's ex wife has done this exact thing to him twice now, just in the last month. Their kid is a 5 year old boy!  Of course he gets bruised shins! 

My friend says she's NPD (undiagnosed) but everything he has ever told me about her reactions screams raging BPD to me. (I know she could have comorbidity). Besides the two reports for shin bruises she's has made at least 2 other reports since before Christmas because my friend told her she couldn't take their kid out of the country last minute. This is a pattern with her, she did the same thing the last time he said "no" to her for almost the same thing a year and a half ago. She keeps reporting him to CPS hoping something will stick and CPS keeps finding no evidence of abuse. Its freaking ridiculous!