Physical signs

[T0M]

Does this resonate?

My GF with BPD shows a lot of physical signs whenever she is going, or is in a 'disconnect' as i call it.

Her movements become very slow, she walks without moving her arms. Her voice is flat and silent, although she barely speaks. She scratches her had almost constantly, or she is checking her hair for split ends. No eye contact, especially no physical contact. She almost goes in to a fetus kind of state.

And when I say something it seems like I wake her up from wherever she went. Sometimes I laugh because it was kind of funny how she popped up out of that invisible world, but that triggers the other angry version.

T.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

Noticing these signs of withdrawal can be very useful. It lets you know you are dealing with someone who is likely to be in an unstable state.

[15years]

I'll have to start paying closer attention to signs like these. She feels like a 1000000 piece puzzle, I know every piece so well, just can't get the whole picture. But, one piece at a time I guess.

Also, she's ever changing like a virus, I always have to tweak the vaccine.

But on the other hand, isn't it also important to stop obsessing over things like these? ---> disengage a little.

Have a nice weekend

[hands down]

100% there are signs.

[Chosen]

Noticing these signs of withdrawal can be very useful. It lets you know you are dealing with someone who is likely to be in an unstable state.

There are signs, but it seems like when the signs pop up, it's already too late, and no matter what I do/ say, it ends up being wrong.  Does that mean I'm catching the signs too late?

[Cat Familiar]

There are signs, but it seems like when the signs pop up, it's already too late, and no matter what I do/ say, it ends up being wrong.  Does that mean I'm catching the signs too late?

Possibly. I notice my husband’s face starting to get tighter; he presses his lips together; his language is clipped; he moves faster and jerkily; he speaks in few words.

[GaGrl]

My H noticed short, clipped movement when his ex was becoming dysregulated, but once a rage started, the physical manifestation was a change in her eyes. They became fully dark, as if the pupils were fully dilated, and there was no expression -- his daughter describes them as "dead eyes." She was probably dissociated, as she will claim no memory of actions during certain rages -- even when she was arrested.

[Chosen]

They became fully dark, as if the pupils were fully dilated, and there was no expression -- his daughter describes them as "dead eyes."

Yes.  You can totally see it in their eyes.  But what am I supposed to do when uBPDh has "dead eyes"?  No amount of validation or anything will help then... I can tell that he's "not fully there", taken over by his rage, but I can't change him back...

[keepitup]

Yes.  You can totally see it in their eyes.  But what am I supposed to do when uBPDh has "dead eyes"?  No amount of validation or anything will help then... I can tell that he's "not fully there", taken over by his rage, but I can't change him back...

In this situation, the best course of action in my experience is to give them space and time. In the meantime, it's important to focus on your own well-being.