Feeling intense weakness

[15years]

Have been on good terms with wife for maybe a month, now she's bombarding me with accusations on whatsapp, regarding thing I've said and did the last month. She says I'm a wannabe trash lover just to make her feel bad, this has come up earlier too.

During this calm period my love for her and our intimacy has gradually grown stronger again. But my own strength has weakened and the fear of her being angry at me has grown, and now it seems the time has come when I'm once again the bad guy. Now I feel so weak, anxious and depressed I don't know what to do.

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[15years]

There is a woman who occasionally is a guest on a youtube channel we follow. I didn't like her as she was kind of annoying. Nor did my wife. We decided to watch a video on this persons own youtube channel and we somewhat sympathized with her when we saw another side of her. Next day we watched another video and I joked with my wife and told her this woman is now my favorite, I thought that was kind of funny because it was an expression of the feeling that my opinion changed drastically about a person and that was a small wake up call to me. She didn't respond to it badly.

But now she claims I'm being jealous, passive aggressive and manipulative, trying to make her jealous and feel bad about herself, by pretending to sympathize with trash. She demands an explanation and a real apology (not only for this but for other minor things I've said the last month).

How do I respond without JADEing. The truth may well be unacceptable to her.


Another example, my wife told me she is the kind of girl who have guy friends. I joked back and told her I'm the kind of guy who's friends with older women (it's a bit true, they often like me and I most of my coworkers is women 50+). She laughed at this too but now she also claims that was bad of me to tell her that.

She tells me she has a high tolerance but can't just take everything i tell her!
What's the point of having high tolerance and "never getting angry" if I have to suffer for it later.

[T0M]

15 years,

So many anecdotes. I bed every one of us has them.
I'm working from home with the pandemic and I'm in calls all day. Sometimes my GF gets depressed because some of my female colleagues sound very confident. She sometimes overhears us, even though I'm in a separate room when I'm at her house.
She says it is a matter of time before I will leave her for one of my colleagues. That she knows how things goe in a company like the one I'm working for.

It really hurts me. Trying to give her all the love I have, and still get blamed for no reason.

[15years]

Thanks T0M for your reply.

[15years]

I bought a pack of tea, it had an artsy looking illustrated lady on it with red hair flowing out in every direction. She was naked but covered. I didn't pay any attention to it because I subconsciously categorized it as artsy looking packaging. I bought it because it was the only package with that certain tea.

She's convinced I bought it to spite her. I absolutely did not.
The build up to this though is that I confessed one year ago that I had watched porn, not frequently, but a number of times during our 15 year long relationship, so this triggers her feelings about that very much.

But that's not the whole reason. The key thing here is that the women on the tea package wasn't anything like my wife. My wife has blond medium length hair, petite but curvy body. The tea women although illustrated and not real looking, triggered her because she had long RED hair and a long slender body.

She isn't triggered if I comment a woman who looks like herself. She could absolutely be triggered if I commented anything positive about a women who is her opposite, even if it wasn't about the looks.

Anyone else noticed this kind of jealousy?