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Author Topic: another cycle of chaos  (Read 188 times)
nbdp husband
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: SELECT ONE [Required]
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1


« on: June 09, 2022, 06:06:53 PM »

Hi all.  I'm new to the site and am in the midst of going through another cycle of chaos with my bdp wife.  Each time around it seems to impact my son (now 10) more and more.  Seems like there are limited local resources and support for bdp within a marriage and thought I'd check in here to see what may be available.  Divorce and child custody are probably at the top of my list of topics to explore but any bdp support would be very helpful. 
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livednlearned
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced January 2012
Posts: 12010



« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2022, 06:35:26 PM »

There's certainly a lot of support here for what you're going through.

What is the chaos about? How is your son responding?

Any thoughts on what might have triggered this round of chaos?
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Breathe.
BigOof
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Never-ending divorce
Posts: 303



« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2022, 07:55:20 AM »

Hi nbdp husband,

I can empathize. Check the cycle of DV and see how well it correlates to your situation:

     https://hopeandsafety.org/learn-more/the-cycle-of-domestic-violence/

Hang in there for your kids,

BigOof
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ForeverDad
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 16972


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2022, 08:59:07 PM »

When pondering any level or separation or divorce, this needs to be a priority... How do I best address the needs of the children during and after the process?

In other words, don't ask just whether to leave or when, it is how to leave with the children.  Yes, the children may have to split their time between parents, but don't leave the kids behind.

And don't assume the legal system will eventually fix everything.  I was in and out of the family court legal system for 8 years (2005-2013) before our child had an order that worked so that we didn't return to court again.
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