Flying monkeys

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Notwendy,
I feel that you understand the hurt and heartbreak of being judged by people who do not know me at all. My heart hurts when you describe how badly certain people treat you because they choose to believe the lies your mother has told them about you without making any effort to get to know you. I am secure enough to be able to walk away without remorse from toxic people who I have no reason to have in my life. My challenge is dealing with toxic people I am right now obligated to deal with because of financial and legal obligations, and toxic people who are part of the community in which I do have real friends who I do want to continue to have in my life.

[zachira]

Notwendy,
I feel that you understand the hurt and heartbreak of being judged by people who do not know me at all. My heart hurts when you describe how badly certain people treat you because they choose to believe the lies your mother has told them about you without making any effort to get to know you. I am secure enough to be able to walk away without remorse from toxic people who I have no reason to have in my life. My challenge is dealing with toxic people I am right now obligated to deal with because of financial and legal obligations, and toxic people who are part of the community in which I do have real friends who I do want to continue to have in my life.

[zachira]

Several months ago, I fired one of the key professional players who is a flying monkey of my NPD sister. I did this to end the conflict of interest. He has contacted me several times, trying to get me to pay for services already paid for, refuses to account for what the services were, or to deduct for services that were exclusively for my NPD sister and her husband. He now says he will give up on billing me. Hopefully this is the end of the billing drama and the false accusations.I have learned that sometimes I have to fight city hall, otherwise I look like I am complicit, like in this case in which there is financial fraud.
I am getting stronger, feeling more secure in who I am, not losing so much sleep over how poorly I am treated by the flying monkeys I am still stuck having some kind of contact with, which I do my best to keep as low as possible and not give out any information to them which could be used against me.
Sometimes, we have to give up on winning and move on. Sometimes, we do have to stand up for ourselves, when there is too much at stake, like financial fraud, unbearable financial loses, legal challenges that must be addressed.
I am hanging in there. I am doing well most of the time. I am compartmentalizing the financial and legal obligations I have to deal with, while feeling pretty even keeled most of the time.

[SinisterComplex]

Several months ago, I fired one of the key professional players who is a flying monkey of my NPD sister. I did this to end the conflict of interest. He has contacted me several times, trying to get me to pay for services already paid for, refuses to account for what the services were, or to deduct for services that were exclusively for my NPD sister and her husband. He now says he will give up on billing me. Hopefully this is the end of the billing drama and the false accusations.I have learned that sometimes I have to fight city hall, otherwise I look like I am complicit, like in this case in which there is financial fraud.
I am getting stronger, feeling more secure in who I am, not losing so much sleep over how poorly I am treated by the flying monkeys I am still stuck having some kind of contact with, which I do my best to keep as low as possible and not give out any information to them which could be used against me.
Sometimes, we have to give up on winning and move on. Sometimes, we do have to stand up for ourselves, when there is too much at stake, like financial fraud, unbearable financial loses, legal challenges that must be addressed.
I am hanging in there. I am doing well most of the time. I am compartmentalizing the financial and legal obligations I have to deal with, while feeling pretty even keeled most of the time.

You've shown tremendous growth Zachira. Your presence and the tone you use have certainly changed to that of more confidence and being decisive. Keep it up. If no one else says it I will...I am proud of you, but you know what? You need to be proud of YOU.

Cheers and best wishes teammate!

-SC-

[zachira]

SinisterComplex,
I am working hard on not letting the smear campaigns and cruel (some illegal) actions of my NPD sister and her flying monkeys destroy my self esteem and ability to do what I have to do. Sometimes reaching rock bottom, is the beginning of the climbing out of inaction and low self worth. I came to a point last year where I could no longer give my NPD sister and her flying monkeys what they wanted, allow them to continue to destroy my life. Some days are better than others. I have a long battle ahead of me. One of the biggest lessons for me, has been that I cannot be complicit in enabling the terrible behaviors of my NPD sister and her flying monkeys. If there were no legal or financial obligations towards her and my BPD brother, I would have gone no contact with them, as I have with people I have attracted into my life due to my trauma bonding. I appreciate your support and recognize that I have indeed come a long ways. I still have a long ways to go though, and much to learn. I am meditating nearly an hour every day, to let the frustrations go, and to get back on the horse. Thank you for your kindness and understanding. I too am proud of me!