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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: Repeqting herself  (Read 215 times)
CravingPeace
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 108


« on: November 18, 2023, 12:09:11 PM »

Wonder if anyone else has this experience. I asked my wife what time the kids friends bday party was as she wanted me to take him, she said Im not sure i'll check in a bit . Later on I asked again what time it was and she got irritable and said the time very grumpily. When I asked why the tone, she said as I already came and told you. I said did I acknowledge to check I hadn't just not heard. She said I had. The thing is I am sure she didn't tell me. She also said then that she had told me last week and I had been annoyed about the time. I am sure that didn't happen. So is she mixing things up? Or am I really forgetting things?  This happens quite often and she tells me I don't listen. I am pretty sure she isn't deliberately doing this she literqly thinks she has told me, and I am pretty sure I don't just routinely forget things 30 mins after being told when I hqd asked for the information so I could plan my day. So what is going on?
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Pook075
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
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« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2023, 01:01:22 PM »

Wonder if anyone else has this experience. I asked my wife what time the kids friends bday party was as she wanted me to take him, she said Im not sure i'll check in a bit . Later on I asked again what time it was and she got irritable and said the time very grumpily. When I asked why the tone, she said as I already came and told you. I said did I acknowledge to check I hadn't just not heard. She said I had. The thing is I am sure she didn't tell me. She also said then that she had told me last week and I had been annoyed about the time. I am sure that didn't happen. So is she mixing things up? Or am I really forgetting things?  This happens quite often and she tells me I don't listen. I am pretty sure she isn't deliberately doing this she literqly thinks she has told me, and I am pretty sure I don't just routinely forget things 30 mins after being told when I hqd asked for the information so I could plan my day. So what is going on?

I experienced that quite a bit as well and it drove me nuts.  We'd make plans, my wife would disappear, then say, "I told you last week that I had a bridal shower today at 2PM."  And I'm thinking, but it's 7PM...and you made plans with me last night to go to Costco early afternoon.

The communication was terrible and I think she'd just forget to tell me, then get mad at me when I asked.  Somehow it was always my fault, LOL.
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CravingPeace
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 108


« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2023, 02:33:53 PM »

Yeah i get worried am I losing my mind! But i cant exactly call her out on it as  there is no proof either way who said what. But it is really annoying to be constantly told I am not listening or forgetting stuff. I wonder if there is some way to draw her attention to it without causing a massive fight?. As she is addamant she tells me things and I forget. I am sure I dont. Like if I am trying to plan ny day and i ask for timings and she tells me, why would i forget 30 minutes later!
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thankful person
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 981

Formerly known as broken person…


« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2023, 03:41:12 PM »

This happens to me all the time too. I have come to the conclusion that my wife is delusional. It’s not her deliberately making up the stories about me being a bad person, but her brain is telling her these things and apparently she wishes I wasn’t so useless. I don’t try to argue that much anymore. I just tell her clearly a couple of times that she’s wrong and then leave it (it’s really just for my own satisfaction that I want to stand up for myself as it achieves absolutely nothing, it just angers her…)
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