Ex "accidental" text? Not sure what to do

[Banana91]

Hi all,

My ex pwBPD has sent a text about possibly going to access emergency mental health services but then quickly sent another text saying it was meant for someone else.

Do I reply? If yes, what do I say?

I am worried because she self-harms and has been to another program before for wanting to end her life (it was before me, I can't recall if there was any action to this or only words).

Also, we have been in communication because she just recently moved out. She also forgot some items at the apartment too so she has been texting about that. There is a lot of anger and resentment in her texts that I am trying to ignore and just stick to the important details that need to be dealt with.

[SaltyDawg]

My ex pwBPD has sent a text about possibly going to access emergency mental health services but then quickly sent another text saying it was meant for someone else.

Do I reply? If yes, what do I say?

Banana91,

   Welcome to BPD Family.

   Since she is an 'ex' and indicated the text was misdirected to you, take it at 'face value' that it was misdirected to you.  It might be an attempt to draw you back into her 'drama'.  You are not responsible for her (unless she is the mother of your children, and then it is limited to the children's welfare).

   If the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) is really getting to you, you could consider discreetly checking in on her (without her knowledge) to make sure she is safe. if you have any 'common' friends/acquaintances or if she posts on social media, check her accounts for any update if she is going to 'grippy sock' vacation/hotel/land/jail a common neurodivergent term for being institutionalized for a mental evaluation.

   If she contacts you again, suggest that she call 911 if she is in immediate danger, or 988 if she is in emotional crisis.  If she prefers text 988 or 741741 if she is in any kind of mental health crisis.

   Be sure to take care of yourself with self-care, whatever that might look like for you.

   Take care with self-care.

SD

[Pook075]

Hey Banana.  I would recommend the opposite and reach out to her.  Why?  Because she's unstable and needs help.  I'd say that I hope you're doing okay and it's always a good idea to seek professional help when you're struggling.

I'd leave it at that though unless she responds.  And if she does respond, then tread very carefully with love and support.

[Banana91]

Thank you, yes I have spoken to a professional. However, my benefits ran out and looking for more affordable options now. I do have that overwhelming guilt and worry for her and anytime I express things in clear words they are interpreted by her feelings as something else. I know I can't do anything because it's help that she needs, and I want her so badly to get it.

[SaltyDawg]

Thank you, yes I have spoken to a professional. However, my benefits ran out and looking for more affordable options now. I do have that overwhelming guilt and worry for her and anytime I express things in clear words they are interpreted by her feelings as something else. I know I can't do anything because it's help that she needs, and I want her so badly to get it.

Banana91,

   You are correct, only she can choose to get help, even though you know how badly she needs to get it.

   Since you indicated you don't have any affordable options now, I recently made a post with affordable options for another person which you can find at this post https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=357105.msg13204257#msg13204257

   Take care with self care.

SD

P.S.  I am curious if you followed up with her, and do you know if she indeed got any help?