17yo Bpd Death Threats

[Mom2Two86]

I have posted here before. My 17YO is diagnosed with BPD. She is getting worse as she is isolating in her room. She is very very irritable and snaps at any point. On Mother’s Day my sons cell phone reflected the sunlight in her eye and she cussed him out and called him every name in the book. Last night we were watching a movie and she began ranting about things. When she does this I will stay present and listen but if I respond she will snap and if I don’t respond she gets even more angry because I am ignoring her she says. Last night I told her I loved her and that I am sorry she is hurting. She then began to rage and tell me she isn’t hurting she hates me and wants me dead. She threw a pillow at me but stayed in her seat. She then began to say very dark things about bashing my face in and how she should just kill me and get it over. All of her problems will be gone she said. She told me how badly she wants to kill me. And how easy it would be to catch the house on fire and kill everyone. I then left the room and locked the door. We removed all of the sharps etc. I’m so tired of being afraid and sleeping with our doors locked. I know she is hurting and says these things out of anger but maybe there is truth in them and that scares me. I will be reporting this to her full crisis team. I am so afraid I don’t want something bad to happen to her for saying this if she was angry but I don’t know what to do. I will definitely be talking this over with the team but I am so sick to my stomach. Why won’t she let me give her my love and support? She says she is happy living in her head because she cannot live in society. I really hope this crisis team helps

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi Mom2two86
I am so glad you have a team you can take this to. It is beyond distressing and you must surely be at the end of your tether. What you describe sounds to me like the BPD part of your dd's issues. Interesting that my dd threatens to 'smash my face in' in her rants against me, wishes me dead, can't wait till I die etc.

In my dd's mind I think she has morphed with me and uses me to blame for everything - because her self is so fragile she can't bear to acknowledge in any way that the issues are within herself.

My dd has co-morbidities and it seems your dd has also. This creates a huge complication.

Given the extent of the threats I wonder if a period of hospitalisation could be enforced? The problem is of course that to get to this happening is quite a process.

i hope your team can take over here in some way and relieve you because there needs to be some kind of intervention for everyone's sake.

Thinking of you . .