Hello Happyllama11 and
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13 years is quite a ride. He was probably showing plenty of BPD-type traits and behaviors even before the diagnosis... that's difficult stuff.
Am I hearing that you're conflicted at some level? When you told him you didn't know if you could continue the relationship, was that because of trying to let him down easy (i.e., you're truly done but trying to soften the blow), or because you truly don't know -- that is, maybe you might stay in it?
No right or wrong answer... just getting a better idea of where you're at.
Has anyone else dealt with this? I don't want to get sucked back into another cycle of this, but I do genuinely love him and care about his well being.
Do you feel powerless about being drawn back in?