TREATMENT: Is "intervention" a viable approach for BPD?

[BPDFamily.com]

My BPD girlfriend who I have been with for almost two years now has been doing the push/pull cycling, breaking up/getting back together now several times. She recently started distancing herself again which ended in us breaking up again.

I have asked her several times to go to counseling with me, which she initially agrees to, but backs out at the last minute. She has recently done this again.  I can only assume she is afraid?  She is officially diagnosed with BPD several years ago. She is aware of it, but does minimize her illness more than I think. Has anyone seen A&E's program called "Intervention"?  The thought has occured to me to try to do something like this with my BPD girlfriend - IF she comes back again. I never really know if she will come back to me but the pattern has been usually a month of not seeing each other and she comes back. If she does come back I thought about having some kind of intervention with her to somehow get across how painful her push/pull cycling is to me; that I can't keep living this way and there has to be some kind of solution/compromise.

She is also very passive-aggressive in the most insidious ways I've ever seen. Hardly anything is spoken outright when she is angry and I'm blackened to a crisp.  I have a very good article on BPD/Passive Aggression if someone is interested.

I don't know if anything like this would make an impact on her or not. Anyone's thoughts?

[stridergrey]

My BPD girlfriend who I have been with for almost two years now has been doing the push/pull cycling, breaking up/getting back together now several times. She recently started distancing herself again which ended in us breaking up again.

I have asked her several times to go to counseling with me, which she initially agrees to, but backs out at the last minute. She has recently done this again.  I can only assume she is afraid?  She is officially diagnosed with BPD several years ago. She is aware of it, but does minimize her illness more than I think. Has anyone seen A&E's program called "Intervention"?  The thought has occured to me to try to do something like this with my BPD girlfriend - IF she comes back again. I never really know if she will come back to me but the pattern has been usually a month of not seeing each other and she comes back. If she does come back I thought about having some kind of intervention with her to somehow get across how painful her push/pull cycling is to me; that I can't keep living this way and there has to be some kind of solution/compromise.

She is also very passive-aggressive in the most insidious ways I've ever seen. Hardly anything is spoken outright when she is angry and I'm blackened to a crisp.  I have a very good article on BPD/Passive Aggression if someone is interested.

I don't know if anything like this would make an impact on her or not. Anyone's thoughts?

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT This board is intended for general questions about BPD and other personality disorders, trait definitions, and related therapies and diagnostics. Topics should be formatted as a question. Please do not host topics related to the specific pwBPD in your life - those discussions should be hosted on an appropraite [L1] - [L4] board. You will find indepth information provided by our senior members in our workshop board discussions (click here).

[izzymae]

hey strider... .do you have a link to the intervention information you are talking about? It would be interesting to check it out... .

My exBPD did the same... .push pull... .break-up with me and paint me black then can't live without me... .push pull... .I'm exhausted from it and can't do it again. good luck to you... .I think that it sounds like unless your partner is getting help, this "intervention" by itself isn't the answer... .but it could be the first step to the long road of recovery... .good luck!

[Lexi]

Maybe there's one more thing for you to try before intervention.  If she comes back again, tell her that you will only be with her if the two of you go to therapy on a regular basis.  Hold your boundary, and don't accept no for an answer.  T could be helpful for both of you in working out your relationship.

[FinPublic]

I watch Intervention now and then and wondered if that kind of approach can work for the mentally ill. It seems to me that those consumed by addictions also don't recognize that they are ill. So does an intervention work either with addictions or mental illness?

Just curious

BC

[Ibenhad]

  Only if they want help or even admit/know they have a problem. Other than that I doubt it.

[Happy4me]

My daughter and I have been talking about calling them for the past year. Its to late now as he moved to another state and wont tell me where he is. All I know is the state. He moved in with someone he just met and thinks that there is nothing wrong with the things he does. I always wondered if I had been able to get his family together it might have worked. Only 1 member would have helped me. The others are as sick as him and they even refuse to take thier meds or go to therapy. It would be a great episode if they did one.

Good luck!

[sosadandone]

I attempted an intervention, had him forced into a program for impaired professionals

He manipulated people in the program, split me black and has not spoken to me since

IMO in a good idea

[Sidonie]

Interesting thread, I have BPD Mom and she's in full waif mode. Not caring for herself to the point where her heat and hot water have been shut off. Electricity, cable and Internet are looming close behind and it's unclear if she's been paying rent. Anywho, I've been talking with my non aunt (her sister) and my non brother and we may be doing some sort of intervention this weekend. To give some emotional support. We've decided to not provide any sort of financial assistance as she's been "borrowing" for years and she's clearly not doing anything to help herself.

[sosadandone]

Forgive the typo in my last thread

what I meant was in my experience - an intervention didnt work and it was THE WORST IDEA

he ended up splitting me black and never spoke to me since

If you haven't done it yet- DONT!

[SisterL]

We tried it too, with our sister last summer.  At that time, the term BPD hadn't even been introduced to us yet, but now that we know more about it, it's a perfect fit for her.  We thought we did all the right things... .we investigated and got our resources (inpatient treatment) in order, had professional (minister) guidance in doing everything, made arrangements for her teenage kids to be cared for, arranged for her to be moved out of her house (before she could be evicted) and arranged for family members to help her financially after she came out of treatment.  Great plan, right?  She totally manipulated her way out of it, and now the crisis that is her life continues to roll over everyone, growing bigger and sloppier in the process.  If I had know then what i know now... .no, we wouldn't have done it.  The challenge of manipulating her way out of it gave her a chance to strut her stuff and prove just how adept she is at crushing everything in her life - even herself and her future.

[sosadandone]

Yup Yup Yup

google countertransferance and Borderlines

and see

Because they self victimize- they are masters at inducing rescue

Interventions are the worst

anyone say Charlie Sheen?

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT This board is intended for general questions about BPD and other personality disorders, trait definitions, and related therapies and diagnostics. Topics should be formatted as a question. Please do not host topics related to the specific pwBPD in your life - those discussions should be hosted on an appropraite [L1] - [L4] board. You will find indepth information provided by our senior members in our workshop board discussions (click here).