WHO SHOULD POST ON THIS BOARD?

[BPDFamily]

Conflicted or Just Tolerating a Relationship
 
Summary: This board is for members in a relationship who are seeking some emotional support and coping skills, but are not motivated for problem solving or learning relationship tools at this time. It is also for those who are conflicted about staying in the relationship and are viewing their options.
 
Audience: For members who are in a relationship with someone who is suffering with BPD.
 
Objective: Emotional support and consolation.
 
General Approach: Sharing and caring.
 
Should I use "Bettering" or the "Conflicted Board": The "Improving an Ongoing Relationship" board is for members looking to solve specific relationship problems, to be coached on the use of relationship tools, and to examine their role in relationship conflict.

The "Conflicted or Just Tolerating a Relationship" board is for those seeking some emotional support and coping skills, but maybe you don't feel you're ready for problem solving or tools quite yet - or those who are even conflicted about staying in the relationship.
 
Additional Guidelines for this Board: None.

[BPDFamily]

BOARD DIRECTORY

This is a support community for the family and relationship partners of individuals with borderline personality disorder traits (BPD). Our collective mission is improving member lifestyle and emotional well being through compassionate support and education.KEY
Child with BPD traits [7 boards]
Family member or inlaws with BPD traits [7 boards]
Relationship partner with BPD traits [8 boards]
Relationship partner with traits, relationship ended [10 boards]
Help Desk + Knowledgebase        
Frequently asked questions, how-to instructions, trouble shooting and questions about the community.
Click Here for Frequently Asked Questions      Click Here to Go to BoardRomantic Relationship: Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup    
This Board is for romantic partners who are in a relationship or who have just broken up and are seeking to rekindle a relationship.
Click Here to See Board Charter      Click Here to Go to Board

Romantic Relationship: Conflicted or Just Tolerating It  
This board supports those who are tired of fixing and who are questioning their relationship future.
Click Here to See Board Charter      Click Here to Go to Board

Romantic Relationship: Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship  
This board is for members who are grieving the loss of a relationship and are trying to emotionally detach from their ex-partner. This is also board for members who are at a more advanced level, doing a relationship postmortem, and are ready to evaluate their own emotional health and behavior -  this requires a self-awareness deep dive.  
Click Here to See Board Charter - Detaching  |  Click Here to See Board Charter - Learning  |  Click Here to Go to Board

Family Law, Custody, Co-Parenting, Divorce    
This board is for members grappling with custody issues and discusses family court, co-parenting/parallel parenting, and parental alienation strategies.
Downloadable pamphlet: About Personality Disorders and the Family courts
Click Here to See Board Charter      Click Here to Go to BoardParent, Sibling, or Inlaw Suffering from BPD  
This board is for adult children of a Borderline parent, or family members of someone with BPD.
Click Here to See Board Charter      Click Here to Go to Board

Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD  
This board provides support for parents of children who suffer from BPD.  It follows the basic principles of the Family Connections program developed by the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEABPD).  
Click Here to See Board Charter      Click Here to Go to Board
Library: Tools and Skills Workshops        
This is a skills library containing tools for relationship building, coping and self-discovery. This board is not for questions related to a specific person in your life.  
Click Here to See Board Charter      Click Here to Go to Board

Library: Psychology questions and answers        
This board is for general questions about BPD and other personality disorders, trait definitions, related diagnostics, management and care. Topics should be formatted as a question. This board is not for questions related to a specific person in your life.  
Click Here to Go to Board

Library: Book Club, previews and discussions        
This is a library of book discussions, reviews and recommendations. This board is not for questions related to a specific person in your life.  
Click Here to Go to Board

Library: Video, Audio and PDFs        
This board contains articles and member reviews of articles for the family and relationship partners of individuals with BPD.  This board is not for questions related to a specific person in your life.  
Click Here to Go to Board

Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles          
Articles from other websites for critique and discussion. The best authors are often interviewed or commissioned for bpdfamily articles. This board is not for questions related to a specific person in your life.
Click Here to Go to Board

Library: bpdfamily research surveys      
Member surveys for participation and review/learning. This board is not for questions related to a specific person in your life.
Click Here to Go to BoardStump the Experts (Off topic)  
Off topic board for member fellowship.
Click Here to Go to Board

[JoannaK]

Hi Conflicted!

As long as you are still with the person with BPD, even though you are conflicted or just tolerating a relationship, you may consider making some problem solving posts on the Improving board along with posting here.  There are many tools that are discussed at the Improving board that may help your relationship with your BPD partner.

[united for now]

Can I stay? Should I go? Very painful questions to consider. Neither will be easy to follow, and neither of them guarantees you end up happier.
 
The Conflicted board, as Joanna mentions, is for that time period of uncertainty. It is meant to allow you to explore and discuss your confusion and indecision of whether to stay or to leave. It is strongly encouraged that you also explore the other boards to find out from members who already have made the decision, what they are experiencing to hopefully help you along.
 
The Improving board is designed to help members stop making things worse and learn new skills and tools to make things better. The focus there is on the non to do the work, not the BPD sufferer. Various discussions occur to help members take responsibility for what they can control - themselves, and pushes the non to take better care of themselves.
 
What we do know, is that the longer you stay on “Conflicted or Just Tolerating a Relationship“, the longer you will be in emotional pain. If you are going to stay, then you need to commit to working on what you can control. If you don't feel you have the strength or desire to keep working on things, then you will find peace in moving on... .either way, that fence post can't feel good where it's at... .