SELF ASSESSMENT | Depression Self Testing: Are you depressed?

[gettingmeback]

19. A little surprising because I am usually quite an optimistic person. I attribute much of it to my divorce still ongoing and he was just threatening me yesterday with taking "everything" kids, money, support group, etc from me. I'm still dealing with him being at my house on the weekend to see the kids, so when he is around I'm higher, but when he's been gone a day I get much better. He found out I had a bf and FREAKED. Took my phone and went through it, found his number and started texting and threatening him. Now bf is a little distant because he is a bit of a celebrity where I live and doesn't want any negative attention on him or his kids. Mostly just frustrated right now.

[sea5045]

In January after the visit I was like a 96 and had to go to the doctor for meds and sleep, then I found this site on February 11 th, my whole system was thrown into shock by the telephone rages so that I had everything in that list but suicidal stuff or self harm, and  I was putting all my energy into making it to work and getting to work.

Thanks to this website I was able to reclaim my reality and get back on my emotional feet again, I am doing great now, no more tears, just some fears, no more concerns about not knowing how she is, able to break the enmeshment and focus over the last 6 weeks due to no contact and her living in a different city.


Thanks everyone.

[random_username2]

Wow. I got 77! I am in trouble

[iluminati]

I must be doing better.  Last year, I was an 18, and now I'm a 2.  Three cheers for therapy.  Woohoo!  And also thanks a lot to you guys for helping me get it together.  Thanks!

[irishsob]

I scored a 17. Falls in the mild depression area which is a bit surprising but probably situational. I answered in the context of current r/s difficulties. And I am trypically hard on myself - scored a 3 on the "blaming myself" question .

[KeepingPeace]

I scored 44... .  Most of them were 0, 1 or 2 for me, but the ones that got 3s and 4s were things like being tired (exhausted), interest in sex (none whatsoever ), motivation and interest in activities (way down from usual) and feeling sad   Seems like I'm in the "moderate depression" range, and yet my bf seems to think he *owns* depression and I can't possibly know what it's like... .  Oh wait, I'm depressed BECAUSE of him:P  I guess it's contagious:P

[Skip]

Moderate depression typically means our thinking is skewed - some common problems (that we often don't perceive).

1. All-or-nothing thinking (a.k.a. my brain and the Vatican’s): You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories.

2. Overgeneralization (also a favorite): You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

3. Mental filter: You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives.

4. Discounting the positives: You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count (my college diploma was stroke of luck…really, it was).

5. Jumping to conclusions (loves alcoholic families): You conclude things are bad without any definite evidence. These include mind-reading (assuming that people are reacting negatively to you) and fortune-telling (predicting that things will turn out badly).

6. Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance.

7. Emotional reasoning: You reason from how you feel: “I feel like an idiot, so I must be one.”

8. “Should” statements (every other word for me): You criticize yourself or other people with “shoulds,” “shouldn’ts,” “musts,” “oughts,” and “have-tos.”

9. Labeling: Instead of saying, “I made a mistake,” you tell yourself, “I’m a jerk” or “I’m a loser.”

10. Blame: You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that you contributed to a problem.

From: Burns, David D., MD. 1989. The Feeling Good Handbook. New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc.

[needsupport]

I got a 58... .not good at all. I am normally a very outgoing, upbeat, take-charge kind of person. But dealing with a SO that has a mental illness is something that I am obviously not equipped for... and it's taking it's toll.

[Hooked1968]

I got a 49, just been 10 days of separation.  I probably would have scored around 30 two days ago  .

[Mrs Borderline]

Scored a 54. 

Today, 110 days of separation; H said he didn't think it would have been this long? No end in sight

I am waiting for job offer; decision suppose to been made by today: received my last unemployment check yesterday, uncertain if I'll receive Federal extention. 

Early afternoon, here I am typing away... .need to motivate

[Marvin Martian]

Skip, If I had taken this test a couple months ago, The score would have been very high. Today its under 10. I think that the skills, and support I have learned here, have been huge. I also thank the Lord. I suspect there will be days and even moments the the score will vary. 

[Lemlover]

10.  Very accurate. I am somewhat unhappy, maybe mildly depressed on some days. Yeah, Zoloft!

[JDoe]

3 months away from BPD H and I just scored a 9!  I think it will be even lower when I get my divorce!  Will have to look back, but I know I was soo much higher scoring before!  I am on Citalopram, which has not quite kicked in yet, and feeling better and more like JDoe every day!

The fine folks on this site + my friends and family + God's grace have gotten me up out of that pit of oppression!

Love to all,

JDoe

I was at 40 on Jan 19th, 2010!

[BreadHead]

32.

The first time I left was in mid February but the absolute last time we spoke was about 1.5 weeks ago (?)

When i'm at work I do pretty well because I'm distracted, it's when I get home and I have nothing going on that my mind wanders.  Or when music comes on the radio, I can feel myself just start to slip into this crying jag. 

I started counseling on Friday and have my first real session this friday.  I'm VERY optimistic about counseling and yet I find myself a little weepy over "losing" him from my life.  I know it sounds so ridiculous but the good times are the ones I'm scared to lose.  I have this irrational fear that counseling will work well and I will be so on board the entire thing will be gone... .like it never happened and all that time was just wasted for nothing. 

The times I have overwhelming moments, I don't ever imagine going back to him.  I just imagine talking to him and being held by him, maybe a kiss.  but even in those little fantasies I'm always coming back to my own place and doing my own thing. 

looking forward to the day that I'm under 20... .

[BrokenBeat&Scarred]

69... .Wow. Thats way higher than I thought.

See the T on Friday... about time its been over a month!

I never thought I'd feel this!

[Zioneva79]

I got a 27. I know it would have been a lot worse about 2 years ago, so pretty good.Also, at the moment, I'm in the middle of a big upset with my dBPDsis, so probably an exaggerated result to a certain extent.

Doing good

Z

[RCA212]

I got a 21, yay!  I'm very happy with that!  If I had taken it onyl a few months ago it would have been VERY high!  I'm going to take it from time to time and date it, so I can keep track of my progress.

[Waddams]

scored a 12.  Main problems are sleep issues and lack of concentration/staying on task at work.

[Nelson]

wow. this is really incredible.

I did it twice. Two weeks ago my score would have been in the 50s

Now it's below 20

which makes me even happier haha

*is so thankful this forum exists and that he was guided here*   xoxo

[Nutts45]

19... not bad since I told my so where he could stick the bills. Of course this will make my score better in the long run. 

[C12P21]

Scored a five today... feeling okay.

C

[RCA212]

Scored a 21 on 7/5, now a 25 today.  It went up a little... .I've found myself crying more than usual... .just out of the blue, something as simple as a song on the radio will bring tears to my eyes.  I even had to fight tears in the gym the other day.  Guess I've got some stuff to work on.

[Fathom]

"18". Retaking the test, reflecting back 1 year ago, I was at "46" so I feel good about the progress I am making.  

That was from Oct, 2010. Today, I'm a "3". I think three biggest issues I worked on to get me where I am today was breaking the enmeshment, enforcing and protecting my boundaries and taking personal responsibility for my own happiness and well being. And given my BPDw relationship hasn't seen much more progress since last year shows how much I've worked on myself.

[tcevans78]

My score is 17.  I'm surprised because I expected to score much higher.  I've never been depressed before or felt 'beaten' but over the past few months I have felt like I was run over by a truck.  I haven't been able to function at my job no matter how hard I try.  Now, the good in this is that in the past I have certainly felt overwhelmed but always acted out.  I let me feelings make the life of those around me hell.  This time I am not holding in my feelings, but I am on good behavior.  I think this helps me see where I am lacking whereas in the past I would have been one extreme or another - focusing desperately on positive (while being super-anxious and flaky as all hell) or outrageously angry.  It honestly feels good to be in touch with another feeling.   

[Fathom]

My score is 17.  I'm surprised because I expected to score much higher.  I've never been depressed before or felt 'beaten' but over the past few months I have felt like I was run over by a truck.  I haven't been able to function at my job no matter how hard I try.  Now, the good in this is that in the past I have certainly felt overwhelmed but always acted out.  I let me feelings make the life of those around me hell.  This time I am not holding in my feelings, but I am on good behavior.  I think this helps me see where I am lacking whereas in the past I would have been one extreme or another - focusing desperately on positive (while being super-anxious and flaky as all hell) or outrageously angry.  It honestly feels good to be in touch with another feeling.  

It's all about making changes within ourselves TC. Don't be too hard on yourself over these past few months. You obviously are working on yourself - improving your personal response to situations. This is a difficult task and that in itself can make you feel run over by that truck!

Keep moving forward!  

[Sadforson]

24. Would be nice to couple this with the one for stress.  I am not depressed but am pretty high on the stress rating.

[manyourown]

79. High score?

[marlo6277]

39 - Moderate. I'm the residential stepmom to 3 kids who have a uBPD mom.  The 2 oldest kids - both girls - were recently diagnosed with ADHD and borderline tendencies (oldest 13) and Major Depressive Disorder with the possibility of BPD or Bipolar disorder (Middle SD11 pending a full psych eval after she has had 2 failed suicide attempts.).  

This has certainly caused me great stress and feelings of hopelessness.

I'm not surprised by my score at all.

Marlo

[kampuniform]

56!  Stands to reason, though, because it has been less than 24-hours since I sent the relationship down the plug-hole.  Perhaps ‘relationship’ is not the best word to describe an exposure to BPD.  Whipping post?  Gallows?

[BreadHead]

12!

On May 29th I was at 32 and made the comment: "can't wait till I'm under a 20". 

I'm feeling really good lately.  The only one's I marked above a 0 or 1 were dealing with guilt and shame.  I'm working through a lot of that in counseling but am finding that every visit to my counselor helps in leaps and bounds. 

My ExBPDSO is supposedly moving to Asia (we live in the US) and has basically left things with me as 'we tried our hardest to work things out but there is nothing for me here and I need to start over'.  (of course he does, he has to run, and boy did he this time... .)  My life is moving forward in a positive direction and I feel like after even more distance and detachment I might be able to get back to my old mental state completely.