Moving out

[BPDparent18]

Our 18 yr old daughter, diagnosed with BPD, won’t follow household guidelines. Our daughter, my husband (her father) & I signed an agreement concerning household rules and she isn’t following the agreed upon terms. Looking for insight as to whether we should ask her to move out.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello BPDparent18
Welcome to the group. What you are going through sounds very frustrating. Can you tell us more about this contract you all signed? Were consequences part of it? Wishing you well.
Hugs
Faith

[Turkish]

How do you think she will do of she moves out? I moved out on my 18th birthday, but I didn't have BPD.

What kinds of behaviors precipitated the agreement,  and how is she violating it?

[BPDparent18]

In addition  to a few other things, she agreed to a curfew, which she isn’t keeping. The agreement states that if she doesn’t follow the rules, her father and I can make changes to the terms, including the decision to have her move out.

All of us, including our 18 year old, are concerned about her mental health when she is living alone.

It’s also important to note we have another daughter, 17 years old, that is more than willing to follow household rules and hates the chaos that our oldest creates in our house.

Here’s a template of the agreement:  https://cdn.empoweringparents.com/living-agreement-adult-children-template.pdf

[FaithHopeLove]

OK Thanks for filling me in on a few more details. I really can't tell you whether or not to make your daughter move out. That is your call. But we can all help you think it through. Since you seem to be really good with putting things on paper I wonder what would happen if you say down with your husband and created a plus and minus sheet listing all the advantages (pluses) and disadvantages (minuses) to asking your daughter to move out. Do you think that would help?