I had the more interesting dreams last night...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

The first one was that I was at a party and this man was violent to his gf. I demanded him to leave and get help for himself. I talked to the gf and told her about all of the abuse I went through and woke up. I was so afraid! I was in tears. It was like a reminder of all I had been through! The second one after I fell asleep, was basically my running into my ex and talking to him at a show. I walked away for a min., came back and he was flirting with some girl. He walked away first and I tried to talk to the girl. She ran away from me!  I decided to leave. The only way out were these very flimsy, scary, wobbly staircases. I watched other people use them, but was too afraid to do it myself. I found another way... .I ran across a field and found some sort of Pink Oz is how I describe it. Like looking through rose colored glasses. Everything was pink and pretty.  I kept wanting to stay and look at all the nice things, but there was a magician there that scared me. I wondered into a slimy bar right outside of OZ, where all the people were talking very vulgar. I saw a door on the other side of the bar and asked the bartender if I could please leave that way.  I was unable to find another way out. The door was bright and beautiful with a blue sky and pretty clouds. He tried to get me to stay with some vulgar talk and for a moment I fell into it going along with him... .but then I said please, I just want to get home to walk my dog who has been waiting on me to get home. He said, "all you have to do is walk through the door". I woke up... .not knowing what was on the other side, but WOW! These dreams seemed to powerful to me. I have spent the last week upset and fretting over what I thought my ex and his gf were doing, to have it all shaken up by a post she made on FB last night, which showed me that I may have made up the whole thing in my head and he could have made up everything he said to me to make me feel guilty for not helping him... .or they are both huge liars! Which I know that they are to begin with considering how they started the r/s both having affairs on their spouses. Somehow these dreams have told me that I cannot trust either of those two, they must be made for each other, because they both lie! It's silly of me to keep making up stories in my head! The second dream clearly shows me that the road out is scary and bumpy, staying in with rose colored glasses is bad... .it is really just a slimy bar!  All I have to do is walk out the door and not look back! Who knows what is in store for the future... .but it looked bright and beautiful!  Amazing how the subconscious works... .

[Herodias]

The first one was that I was at a party and this man was violent to his gf. I demanded him to leave and get help for himself. I talked to the gf and told her about all of the abuse I went through and woke up. I was so afraid! I was in tears. It was like a reminder of all I had been through! The second one after I fell asleep, was basically my running into my ex and talking to him at a show. I walked away for a min., came back and he was flirting with some girl. He walked away first and I tried to talk to the girl. She ran away from me!  I decided to leave. The only way out were these very flimsy, scary, wobbly staircases. I watched other people use them, but was too afraid to do it myself. I found another way... .I ran across a field and found some sort of Pink Oz is how I describe it. Like looking through rose colored glasses. Everything was pink and pretty.  I kept wanting to stay and look at all the nice things, but there was a magician there that scared me. I wondered into a slimy bar right outside of OZ, where all the people were talking very vulgar. I saw a door on the other side of the bar and asked the bartender if I could please leave that way.  I was unable to find another way out. The door was bright and beautiful with a blue sky and pretty clouds. He tried to get me to stay with some vulgar talk and for a moment I fell into it going along with him... .but then I said please, I just want to get home to walk my dog who has been waiting on me to get home. He said, "all you have to do is walk through the door". I woke up... .not knowing what was on the other side, but WOW! These dreams seemed to powerful to me. I have spent the last week upset and fretting over what I thought my ex and his gf were doing, to have it all shaken up by a post she made on FB last night, which showed me that I may have made up the whole thing in my head and he could have made up everything he said to me to make me feel guilty for not helping him... .or they are both huge liars! Which I know that they are to begin with considering how they started the r/s both having affairs on their spouses. Somehow these dreams have told me that I cannot trust either of those two, they must be made for each other, because they both lie! It's silly of me to keep making up stories in my head! The second dream clearly shows me that the road out is scary and bumpy, staying in with rose colored glasses is bad... .it is really just a slimy bar!  All I have to do is walk out the door and not look back! Who knows what is in store for the future... .but it looked bright and beautiful!  Amazing how the subconscious works... .

[twanda2020]

Hi Herodias. I agree dreams can be very informative and sometimes intense. Not always easy to understand what the subconcious mind is try to show you, bring to the surface.

I had a really realistic dream this morning. I decided to sleep in after the alarm went off so I was in that half asleep half awake state. This is the state I usually have the most vivid realistic dreams sometimes pretty intense. So I'm laying there in bed and I feel someone crawling into bed with me and wrapped their arms around me. I know it's my ex. I knew I was dreaming but I let it continue. I did wonder how my ex gotten into the house, but didn't worry about it. I didn't pull away I didn't look I just allowed it to happen. It felt good there was love there I felt safe and comfortable. Then we are in the kitchen. My ex said something about the no contact. I explained how this last go around I felt used and tossed aside. My ex didn't respond, didn't try to explain it deny it. Then my ex is leaving the house. Waves and smiles at me from the car, then gives me the crossed finger sign. When you cross the index and middle finger. Then I'm hanging out with my sister and an unknown person that I'm renting a room too. I should mention to the house changed in the dream it was bigger and more property than what I own now. Things get a little fuzzy here for me in my remembering of the dream. There was some discussion about what had just happened and I don't remember exactly what was said.

I don't know what all of the dream meant, but I take away a few things. One point is that I will never get an explanation or closure from my ex. The other point is that I think my ex really does love me and always will. We did spend two decades together and nobody or nothing can take that away from us.

I feel more comfortable with my no contact decision and more comfortable with just allowing things to be as they are. I still have a lot of healing to do and growth. My heart still aches at time and I miss my ex. Will we ever be a part of each others life again? I don't know. I do know that I need to heal my heart before I can have any sort of relationship with my ex. This is also true with regards to any new intimate relationships. I'm working on doing things I'm interested in and making friends with similar interests. Maybe the dream is trying to tell me on the right path, because I woke up feeling okay about everything.

[Herodias]

That's how I felt when I woke up... .like things were the way they were supposed to be.