My way or highway

[Mie]

'Why don't you do as I tell you to do?' said my uBPD man last night. I had sold a cup of coffee to a 'persona non grata'. Actually he told me afterwards I should have not even let him in, but kick him out and call the police. I knew that guy is a trouble maker when drinking, but as he only wanted coffee and was sober, I didn't see a problem. But this became a major issue (obsession and argument of all evening, night and morning, still going on) with two topics: 1) I never do what he tells me to do 2) this guy is worse than devil.

And this is of course only one example. He, for instance, tells me to call someone and he tells me exactly what to say. And when I say: I can't say that, I would never express myself like that or say anything like that, he gets mad.

I had enough and told him: 'Listen. I am me and you are you. You do things your way and I do things my way. We have different personalities and  we behave differently, we react to things in different ways. So don't tell me what to do and specially how to do it! Do you understand what I mean?'

He said 'oh' .I wonder if he got anything from what I said. Sometimes he is thinking of what I say and comes back after days.

I guess this is just one of thise BPD features, my way or higway. It's so exhausting.

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[AnnaK]

Yeah, it must be a BPD feature, because my uBPDbf is the EXACT same way. He regularly tries to tell me exactly what to do and how to do it. In tiny things. Yet in big things requiring making a decision, he tells me to fend for myself. Good boy.

I am tired to explain that I am a different person so lately I just make a face of a naughty child and say "It did not came out! :-] ". If I am questioned why so, I shrug and with the same face of a clown, I say "Myself surprised! :-]"

He has to eat it, I don't look aggressive - I make it a point to look funny... .laughter defuses aggression.

If I defend, he is also ready to argue about it day and night non-stop. Any time.

I thought it's from his father, but looks like it's way more widespread and is part of the disorder.