Newly diagnosed daughter out of control

[Worried Mom23]

It's been along time since I turned to this group... .the last time I was here I had a undiagnosed daughter... .she has since been diagnosed and we were doing somewhat better.  UNTIL 4th of July family gathering I as her mother have done a great job of making excuses for her and hiding the fact from most of my family.  That stopped yesterday as she blew and blew big on my sweet sweet sister inlaw... calling her a bad mother screaming and yelling of course she didn't know what to say my brother protecting his wife fired back some choice words it was hell on earth.  I don't know how I'm suppose to coup with all this I have cried till my head felt like it would explode.  I can never have another family gathering with her invited cause who in there right mind would place themselves in that situation on purpose.  She can be so mean and hurtful ... .i have been called all sorts of names the past 2 weeks.  I would walk away from her myself however she has my granddaughters that for the most part I have raised.  The father is into drugs but fights for custody and wins in a court system that don't seem to care about the kids... .im so lost right now ... i can't give up but there are days I wish I could ... im sure I have rambled sorry for that it all built up and I feel helpless right now... .and lost

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Woodstockgirl]

I can relate so well. So many times I wanted to walk away. I just found out about my daughter and instead of yelling at others she just lied and does not attend family events. She always has an excuse. She just stays in her room for a week at a time. It's so scary and just want you to know you aren't alone

[Worried Mom23]

I feel for you ... .sometimes I wish I didn't even have to invite her because it's just stressful waiting for the blow up ... is she going to is she not... .90 percent of all family gatherings end up with me making excuses for her... .i guess they all now know but I'm sure none will come back to my home... .she is already trying to plan thanksgiving ing dinner today with me ... .saying she isn't gonna come here she thinks she will go out and eat with my granddaughters who are 9 and 3 ... .so I get to choose her and grandbaby or try and have rest of my family here... .who might stay away out of fear... .i have tears rolling as I type this... .i truly wish all this would end but know it never will ... .tbis is my life

[SAAT]

Hi worriedmum23, I totally understand your pain. I had a similar experience 2 years ago on Christmas Day 2000 miles from my home, first time
All the family had been together for years. My family all now know about my daughters problems and diagnosis. Some ask about her others don't. Living away from my family makes it somewhat easier however like you I avoid family events  as the stress is unbearable. Would she be less likely to blow up if you were in a public place?

[Worried Mom23]

Hi saat...
She is much better in a public place.  She had a break thru last night she called and was crying anout how she had acted... didnt even realize she had called a very tired mother of 2 special needs children a bad parent... .she tore out of my drive in rage and would have killed anyone in back of her as she threw rocks with her tires... thrre where 4 children outside and a pet.   She cried and said she can't stand being like this and she now feels guilty for what happened... i told her that the word sorry goes a long way ... .she has always told me she can't say that and never has until last night she said I'm sorry... rears flowed down my face.  Im trying to understand how she thinks it's just hard when ya want to shake them and yell stop trying to get them to snap out of it... i can usually tell when she is about to blow and can look at some in the room like please just ignore her cause if ya say something it's gonna be a big blow.  Walking on egg shells all the time... tip toeing around her ... its exhausting