Closure from an BPD ex

[NHBeachBum]

I think real closure is when you just don't care anymore.  One way or the other.  When you no longer really need to use "F you" A**hole.  I took along time to get past that.

But the bitterness and anger, and diappointment only effected me.  The stuff I carry belongs to me, and I choose not to carry it any longer.

Besides no matter how I felt, had not one bit of effect on his life.  So the bitterness just made me bitter and for what reason?


Peace4us

Peace,

Well said. Hopefully everyone figured out my previous post was merely sarcastic humor. I have nothing more to ever say to my exBPDgf & truly wish for no more contact ever. I too realized that by me changing my demeanor & being bitter was her still being able to control me. I just simply let go of the anger, bitterness & the memories. Empty the mental cup so I can find new, happy, fun ones in the future.

At the end of the day bad things sometimes happen to nice people. We can only control ourselves & how we act. Miserable people are just that - miserable. Introducing a new person in their lives somehow won't make them any less miserable until they have the ability to be happy with themselves first.

-NHBB

[thomaso61]

I just came across this thread... .NHBB, I just laughed so hard I think I soiled my shorts! I love your choice of words!

Helpy helperton... .LMAO! I've got tears in my eyes reading that... .

Thanks Beach!   I really needed that!

Tom

[D_Art]

Without 2 years of NPD, I'd never have found this site, in which case, I'd never have had the chance to appreciate NHBB's love letters!

[SunriseDreams]

Best closure?  Don't count on explainations or apologies, don't try to get through to them, close it off yourself.  You take back your power and your dignity.  They will never see it coming, and it will upset the sht out of them.  I can live with that

Word!

[Sapphire]

I think real closure is when you just don't care anymore.  One way or the other.  When you no longer really need to use "F you" A**hole.  I took along time to get past that.

But the bitterness and anger, and diappointment only effected me.  The stuff I carry belongs to me, and I choose not to carry it any longer.

Besides no matter how I felt, had not one bit of effect on his life.  So the bitterness just made me bitter and for what reason?


Peace4us

Very well said, Peace.

This is where I'm at now. I refuse to let Jigsaw's crap affect me any longer b/c if I do, I am only hurting myself. All the anger & bitterness & negative emotions made ME suffer - not him. He wasn't worth ruining my life over.

~S~

[NHBeachBum]

Sounds like you guys are laughing AT me not WITH me. LOL

How's this for some closure. I had to go to court for some bogus stuff my exBPDgf made up in order to cause yet more turmoil in my life. (Aside: my life would make a great sad country music song right now) Anyway, I had to get an evaluation done & he interviewed me & then later my exBPDgf. The most interesting quote from her to the shrink:

When she and NHBB went to court, she described NHBB as "laughing and joking" with his attorney.

Awww... .poor, poor girl. Had I known I would've put on my "oh babe - you hurt me so bad & I'm so miserable without you" face. How DARE I try to be upbeat & positive in a lousy situation? WOW! Good thing she doesn't have to put up with a happy, positive guy like me! UGH! The freakin' NERVE of me. Since my ex isn't around for her daily dis-affirmation, I'll just have to do it myself - I SUCK! Boy don't I miss her. Maybe I should go argue with the TV next.

Oh yeah the other great quote:

ex stated that NHBB accused her of "stalking" him and showing up for "unwanted sex". He told the court that he had to move to newcity, NH to get away from her. She believes he told the court that so that she would know where he was just in case she wanted to hook back up with him

I swear I am NOT making this stuff up. I wrote it word for word (minus the newcity - editted). How funny is that? Umm... .there's only thousands & thousands of people in this city & many square miles. I guess she exposed me & my secret desire. She iz so not stoopid her! Good thing I helped narrow things down for her to just 40-60 square miles maybe? I bet that she's out there right now trying to find me to hook up. Oh yeah - my dopey atty was the actual one who blabbed the freakin' city.

I think we in NH need to annex both Maine & Mass in order to accommodate my exBPDgf's enlarged head due to her inflated ego. I'm sure EVERYONE of her poor, pathetic exes are out there right now stalking her. Jeesh - I better get going. Well, maybe not. I seem to have better things to do - like wash my pet's car. I'm such a fibber. You guys got me - I have no pet.

-NHBB

[Sapphire]

Sounds like you guys are laughing AT me not WITH me. LOL

Nah. We were once as pitiful as you, NHBB!

I swear I am NOT making this stuff up.

I believe you, NHBB. I've seen some equally crazy things from Ace's ex (my current s/o) and Jigsaw too. When they say and do some of those things, all you can do is stand there and roll your eyes. It's so freakin' crazy! :

Once, during one of Ace's court appearances w/ his psycho ex, the lawyer asked her why she forged a check in Ace's name for the amount that she did. She said, "Because he only had $XXXX.00 in the account. I left him $25.00. Besides, he has other accounts to use." ? : (which he didn't).

But what can you expect from someone who tried to "get even" by running the heat & A/C at the same time while the windows were left wide open, and who also left all the water running in plugged-up sinks & the tub just b/c the judge ordered Ace to pay the final utility & water bill in the house that they were living in? She wanted to run up the bills as high as she possibly could, just b/c she knew Ace had to pay them!

She also filed bogus attempted murder charges against him, just to get him out of the house while she planned her "revenge". While he was gone, she cleaned out pratically the entire contents of the place - including Ace's personal belongings, and all of the bank accounts - plus maxed out the credit cards. She also hacked into his personal computer files, and erased & deleted information that probably can't be retrieved or restored.


So I believe everything you say, NHBB, b/c I've witnessed it myself... .

~S~

[NHBeachBum]

So I believe everything you say, NHBB, b/c I've witnessed it myself... .

~S~

Sapphire,

Ain't we a fine lucky pair! How did we get to be soo lucky in life? I don't know about you but I just feel like I won the lottery!

-NHBB

[Sapphire]

Sapphire,

Ain't we a fine lucky pair! How did we get to be soo lucky in life? I don't know about you but I just feel like I won the lottery!

-NHBB

I don't know, Beach Bum, but I consider myself blessed every day of my life for having the special honor of Jigsaw seeing fit to find a place in his life for ME! How lucky I am, too: he was just such a rare find... ;==

Seriously though; even though the experience sucked in alot of ways, I'm also glad it happened. Because if it wasn't for Jigsaw's BS, I probably wouldn't have had the opportunity to improve my own life. I'm not saying I'd ever want to go through it again, but sometimes you have to look for the pot at the end of the rainbow, ya know?

~S~

[rstolk]

My heart goes out to all of you that had to put up with this type of bull%$#@

There is no closure with these type of people! I was called by my ex-BPDw a month ago asking me if I wanted to go to an event which she would come to my house to stay the weekend because it was in my town. I then try to call her to see if the plans were still going to take place, but she doesn't seem to be answering my calls or email. It's been a month where she hasn't even acknowledged I'm alive. Three weeks though I called and asked the same question, and she replied " I hope we go to the event together". Now she treats me like someone she use to know. I've been with this woman for over 2 years and the roller-coaster ride of come here/go away has been hurting me tremendously. I guess the push/pull was leading up to this final moment. She has painted me black for the final time I believe without any explanation at all. It is so strange that she would say I love you, then go to extremes to ignore me. I am finally going complete NC, and I will call that my answer for closure. I feel really sorry for all of those people that have put up with this type of fraud, because that is what happens when you fall into a relationship with a Cluster B disordered person. I guess I don't give her the validation she needs anymore, so I'm discarded completely after giving soo much to this relationship. Godspeed to all that have experienced this type of relationship. I hope all of you the very best on getting a fast and speedy recovery. God knows I went to hell and back with excruciating pain.

Bob