Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 10, 2024, 01:29:13 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Best week of my Life
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Best week of my Life (Read 363 times)
AllNightLong
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 60
Best week of my Life
«
on:
April 20, 2017, 08:25:38 AM »
Hi,
For those how read my previous thread i talked a bit about how i should be able to go on my planned Scuba trip.
I was right, she did anything to destroy these plans she yelled, raged and hit me a couple of times, throw out my scuba gear in the evening and so on.
This was the best thing that could have happened. At 11pm i ran for the car and left, she was right behind me yelling at me all kind of crazy things. I got in and left and soon my phone started to ring, it was my mom. In that moment i knew that everyone had seen and heard what was going on.
We live in quite a small town and some of our neigbors is my cousin and my brother. My brother tried to call me and my cousin called mom and told her what was going on.
When i picked up i told her everything that had been going on except for the physical abuse for some reason. And she told me that they had sensed it was something not right. Also my cousin had heard us several times when she has been throwing around furnitures and so on.
And all of them has been a great support since that moment.
My mom tried to talk with my wife the day after asking what was going on. She did like she always do and said it was all my fault. How stupid i've been and so on. After that visit she now cut out all contact with everyone in my family, our neighbours, she doen't even talk to our neighbors kids anymore. Despite all this i left on my trip and had the best week of my freaked out life! I've been laughing from morning to evening and met some wonderful persons and one girl in particual. Absolutely amazing (nothing happened between us).
This made me realize how sick the situation have been and that i can't through away my life anymore. Now i just will have to get the courage to tell her i want a divorce cause i made up mind. This will be one hell of a ride that's for sure but i feel that i can't stand to even be in the same room as her anymore now when i finally can see it with a bit clearer eyes.
Thank you for listening!
Logged
Lucky Jim
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211
Re: Best week of my Life
«
Reply #1 on:
April 20, 2017, 12:26:44 PM »
Hey ANL, Seems like you reached your limit, which is a good thing, in my view. You sound confident about making a change. You're lucky to have family nearby who care about you. I suspect that you are going to need their support as you go forward. How long have you been married? Do you have children? What makes you think your W has BPD? Fill me in, when you can. LJ
Logged
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
AllNightLong
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 60
Re: Best week of my Life
«
Reply #2 on:
April 20, 2017, 03:21:59 PM »
Quote from: Lucky Jim on April 20, 2017, 12:26:44 PM
Hey ANL, Seems like you reached your limit, which is a good thing, in my view. You sound confident about making a change. You're lucky to have family nearby who care about you. I suspect that you are going to need their support as you go forward. How long have you been married? Do you have children? What makes you think your W has BPD? Fill me in, when you can. LJ
Hi LJ,
Yes i have reached My limit and just feels enough is enough.
We have been married for four years and have two kids s2 and s4 months.
We have been together for 12 years in total and for about 10 years she has been verbally and physicly abusive against me.
The reason why i think she has BPD is the emotional rollercoaster, the circle argumentations, her rage is often way out of proportion, she is a typical i hate you!, don't leave me.
I realized when all this came up to surface that it's not up to me to be responsible for her actions and doings. And this is probably the biggest win for me since i stayed with her since it was up to me to handle all of her emotions and feelings.
Now i just feel that i can't do this and i Will do anything to make sure My kids have a good childhood but it Will not be with their two parents living together.
ANL
Logged
Lucky Jim
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211
Re: Best week of my Life
«
Reply #3 on:
April 20, 2017, 03:39:33 PM »
Hello again, ANL, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Believe me, I've been in your shoes and know exactly what you are talking about. Like you, I was in an abusive situation with my BPDxW during a 16-year marriage w/kids. Abuse, in my view, is unacceptable. Why I tolerated it as long as I did is a question I wrestle with. What I decided is that I stayed to provide emotional stability for my kids, until it became unmanageable, in similar fashion to your situation. I suffered in silence for many years and am glad you have let your family know what's really going on. I admire your courage and get ready for some rough sledding ahead.
LuckyJim
Logged
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
AllNightLong
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 60
Re: Best week of my Life
«
Reply #4 on:
April 20, 2017, 11:50:54 PM »
Quote from: Lucky Jim on April 20, 2017, 03:39:33 PM
Hello again, ANL, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Believe me, I've been in your shoes and know exactly what you are talking about. Like you, I was in an abusive situation with my BPDxW during a 16-year marriage w/kids. Abuse, in my view, is unacceptable. Why I tolerated it as long as I did is a question I wrestle with. What I decided is that I stayed to provide emotional stability for my kids, until it became unmanageable, in similar fashion to your situation. I suffered in silence for many years and am glad you have let your family know what's really going on. I admire your courage and get ready for some rough sledding ahead.
LuckyJim
Hi LJ,
Sorry to hear what you been through! It feels a bit better knowing i'm not the first one.
I wrestle with the same feelings and can't understand why i let it go on for soo long.
But now i feel more determed than ever and it feels i worked this through in My head for so long knowing what i have to do!
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Best week of my Life
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...