Still struggling to understand

[jammo1989]

WHY am i reading so many stories on this forum of exes who have finished with us, jumped straight into another relationship, but still get communicated? Ive googled every keyword possible, and i cant get my head around being blocked by phone, FB, Whats App, I didnt even plead with her, I wads the one who said i was done, then boom! completely blocked, why is this? i know what splitting is, but have your exes not blocked you but mine has? please someone explain this its really frustrating me ! 

[fred6]

WHY am i reading so many stories on this forum of exes who have finished with us, jumped straight into another relationship, but still get communicated? Ive googled every keyword possible, and i cant get my head around being blocked by phone, FB, Whats App, I didnt even plead with her, I wads the one who said i was done, then boom! completely blocked, why is this? i know what splitting is, but have your exes not blocked you but mine has? please someone explain this its really frustrating me ! 

Mine hasn't blocked me on anything. But she ain't gonna contact me. So either way it's the same effect. Actually, that's not true. She un friended me on FB early last week. I guess she got tired of seeing me post memes about, lying, cheating, honesty, ect. After she de friended me I widened my audience to "friends of friends" since we have over 100 mutual friends. A couple days later I just blocked her. She can't even search for me.

If your goal is NC then her blocking you is a good thing

[AlwaysForgiving]

WHY am i reading so many stories on this forum of exes who have finished with us, jumped straight into another relationship, but still get communicated? Ive googled every keyword possible, and i cant get my head around being blocked by phone, FB, Whats App, I didnt even plead with her, I wads the one who said i was done, then boom! completely blocked, why is this? i know what splitting is, but have your exes not blocked you but mine has? please someone explain this its really frustrating me ! 

I think it goes something like this... .

Right now, your ex is blinded by the golden ray of sunshine that is her new supply. That's all she can see right now... .everything else is just a threat that is going to mess up that new supply or expose her for who she really is. Instead of slowly transitioning into this new relationship while treading gently on your feelings and letting you go easily like a normal, healthy human being, she feels the need to block you in all communications (whether that's warranted or not) while she intensely pursues this new relationship until that one is sucked dry.

I have been blocked on and off on phone, FB, email, etc. so many times I can't keep track of it all. I'm sure I'm blocked in some capacity right now. They will only unblock you when this new relationship hits its first bump in the road and she contacts you again only because she needs validation.

[Indyan]

I guess she got tired of seeing me post memes about, lying, cheating, honesty, ect.

[jammo1989]

WHY am i reading so many stories on this forum of exes who have finished with us, jumped straight into another relationship, but still get communicated? Ive googled every keyword possible, and i cant get my head around being blocked by phone, FB, Whats App, I didnt even plead with her, I wads the one who said i was done, then boom! completely blocked, why is this? i know what splitting is, but have your exes not blocked you but mine has? please someone explain this its really frustrating me ! 

I think it goes something like this... .

Right now, your ex is blinded by the golden ray of sunshine that is her new supply. That's all she can see right now... .everything else is just a threat that is going to mess up that new supply or expose her for who she really is. Instead of slowly transitioning into this new relationship while treading gently on your feelings and letting you go easily like a normal, healthy human being, she feels the need to block you in all communications (whether that's warranted or not) while she intensely pursues this new relationship until that one is sucked dry.

I have been blocked on and off on phone, FB, email, etc. so many times I can't keep track of it all. I'm sure I'm blocked in some capacity right now. They will only unblock you when this new relationship hits its first bump in the road and she contacts you again only because she needs validation.

Thank you for trying to explain my friend it means a lot, it seems that right now shes trying to protect this new relationship (hide) from me, No pictures have been posted of them together (2 and a half months in) the only mutual friend i have with him has now been deleted, my ex makes sure that all posts relating to him are hidden (only friends of friends can view) it seems as if shes making a lot of effort into making this new relationship top secret, she doesnt even have her relationship status on display.  You seem like a really smart guy, if you had a new gf you would want to show her off to the world right? id have a picture together, id let EVERYONE know shes my gf and i most certainly wouldn't her  hide her from an ex, who i have decided to block out of my life anyway.

[Blimblam]

She wants to try to avoid hurting you. She knows she's stuck in this cycle and she might want you back as supply one day.  She knows she can only hurt you so she blocked you out. Truth be told it leaves more questions unanswered but contact after your broken up and being used as an emotional tampon is even more hurtful than the relationship. She's trying to avoid putting you there and she doesn't want to deal with the drama she left you to deal with.

[fred6]

Thank you for trying to explain my friend it means a lot, it seems that right now shes trying to protect this new relationship (hide) from me, No pictures have been posted of them together (2 and a half months in) the only mutual friend i have with him has now been deleted, my ex makes sure that all posts relating to him are hidden (only friends of friends can view) it seems as if shes making a lot of effort into making this new relationship top secret, she doesnt even have her relationship status on display.  You seem like a really smart guy, if you had a new gf you would want to show her off to the world right? id have a picture together, id let EVERYONE know shes my gf and i most certainly wouldn't her  hide her from an ex, who i have decided to block out of my life anyway.

Hey jammo, mine doesn't(didn't) post anything about her new supply either. When we were together we were listed "in a relationship" with each other. Mine is hiding her new guy from everyone. I went by to pick up mail last week and her son told me that he hasn't even met the guy. To me, pwBPD don't always have a "relationship" with new supply. Sometimes they are just around for sex, drugs, or to help with loneliness.  

The only things she posted were things that she knew that either me or new supply would see. I don't know who they were aimed at. However, something funny happened after she un friended me and then I blocked her. She hasn't posted much of anything. She has liked a bunch of other people's posts, but that's about it. She knows that I can't see her posts, so she doesn't waste the time anymore. Or either she's in bed with new supply 24/7, but with a job, 2 kids, and a house to keep up, I doubt it. I think she just beat herself at her own game, .

I guess what I'm saying is that you cannot predict what these people are doing or why they are doing it. I think right now your mind if F'n with ya. Do you plan on keeping up NC?

[AlwaysForgiving]

Thank you for trying to explain my friend it means a lot, it seems that right now shes trying to protect this new relationship (hide) from me, No pictures have been posted of them together (2 and a half months in) the only mutual friend i have with him has now been deleted, my ex makes sure that all posts relating to him are hidden (only friends of friends can view) it seems as if shes making a lot of effort into making this new relationship top secret, she doesnt even have her relationship status on display.  You seem like a really smart guy, if you had a new gf you would want to show her off to the world right? id have a picture together, id let EVERYONE know shes my gf and i most certainly wouldn't her  hide her from an ex, who i have decided to block out of my life anyway.

Yeah, again... .mine tried very hard to hide her new relationships from me. She would get HORRIFIED if i found out his name or found out what he looked like. And I think Blimblam is right too... .she may be avoiding hurting you, she may feel guilty about the damage she caused you, or she may preserving you as a potential back-up plan in case this one doesn't work out.

I've seen it go both ways too... .either they completely hide their relationship on FB or they plaster it all over their page. Mine put it on full display to almost comical proportions, but had me blocked so I couldn't see anything... .even her relationship status.  

[shellbent]

She wants to try to avoid hurting you. She knows she's stuck in this cycle and she might want you back as supply one day.  She knows she can only hurt you so she blocked you out. Truth be told it leaves more questions unanswered but contact after your broken up and being used as an emotional tampon is even more hurtful than the relationship. She's trying to avoid putting you there and she doesn't want to deal with the drama she left you to deal with.

Wow spot on.

I wish that was the truth with mine though. I mean I didn't get deleted, blocked, just asked 'nicely' to stop calling. So she doesn't post anything hurtful on FB to spite me, but since I know she was coming from a different direction one morning then where she lives it was kind of obvious shes with someone. Plus I could tell on her body language when she was still desperately trying to secure the replacement.

So a lot of it might apply to my case also. She kept the lines open so she could feed off my attention.

My ex before that, was a Witch, she would yell and scream at me on the phone, there was no other way to talk to her, and she went to Scotland for 5 months and we broke up over skype. I was basically always pissed for the way she talked to me and I just had enough. So she deleted me on FB immediately after that. Followed by a friend request the next day. Wow she was so easy to detach from.

Now the Waif is a whole other story. She never insulted me ever. The most painful thing she did was be quiet, and hide away. (and dump me of course)

But jammo all I wanted too was for her to talk to me. So why did she decide not to talk to me anymore. I think they can not handle too much at once. They can have many casual friends, but I think a lot of them are too occupied with making a new mainline connection of primary supply. She might have felt anxious around me and didn't want to have those emotions she couldn't control. I wasn't very good at hiding my emotions in front of her, so that also made it worse.

[Blimblam]

They are hoodrats dude. Hoodrats.

[fred6]

So she deleted me on FB immediately after that. Followed by a friend request the next day. Wow she was so easy to detach from.

Mine was the same way shellbent. Easy as hell to detach from on her end. She deleted me from FB twice for my emotional posting. The first time I asked her to add me back. Not this time, to hell with her. She can't even add me back since I blocked her.

Something interesting that I noticed though. When I snooped on her facebook activity log. About a month after she split from me. She un friended her new supply one night around 9pm and then sent him a friend request at 6am the next morning. That seems weird. I wonder what that was about? Did she have a change of heart about our relationship and then had another change of heart the next morning. Weird indeed... .

[Blimblam]

So she deleted me on FB immediately after that. Followed by a friend request the next day. Wow she was so easy to detach from.

Mine was the same way shellbent. Easy as hell to detach from on her end. She deleted me from FB twice for my emotional posting. The first time I asked her to add me back. Not this time, to hell with her. She can't even add me back since I blocked her.

Something interesting that I noticed though. When I snooped on her facebook activity log. About a month after she split from me. She un friended her new supply one night around 9pm and then sent him a friend request at 6am the next morning. That seems weird. I wonder what that was about? Did she have a change of heart about our relationship and then had another change of heart the next morning. Weird indeed... .

He probably walked out on her and she got mad then wanted to make sure she still had an attachment there.

[shellbent]

Mine was the same way shellbent. Easy as hell to detach from on her end. She deleted me from FB twice for my emotional posting. The first time I asked her to add me back. Not this time, to hell with her. She can't even add me back since I blocked her.

I recently came to realize that my two most serious and also most recent relationships where with BPD gfs.

The first one was a Witch and I never really got attached to her, I was having fun and also she was not really affecting me. So I had an easier time to detach then she did. She was in Scotland and didn't know anyone so she was stalking me on FB and posting on my wall everyday. Of course in that case I was getting together with my new gf. So I ignored her posts. Not like she wanted to talk to me or chat. I would have still responded to her I think.

The quiet, mysterious, silent, sweet perfect girl is what got under my skin, I am also a bit of a loner, and tend to think that most people don't get me. She was a master at making a connection with me. One that I can't even sever after 5 months. Ugh!

[Blimblam]

Mine was the same way shellbent. Easy as hell to detach from on her end. She deleted me from FB twice for my emotional posting. The first time I asked her to add me back. Not this time, to hell with her. She can't even add me back since I blocked her.

I recently came to realize that my two most serious and also most recent relationships where with BPD gfs.

The first one was a Witch and I never really got attached to her, I was having fun and also she was not really affecting me. So I had an easier time to detach then she did. She was in Scotland and didn't know anyone so she was stalking me on FB and posting on my wall everyday. Of course in that case I was getting together with my new gf. So I ignored her posts. Not like she wanted to talk to me or chat. I would have still responded to her I think.

The quiet, mysterious, silent, sweet perfect girl is what got under my skin, I am also a bit of a loner, and tend to think that most people don't get me. She was a master at making a connection with me. One that I can't even sever after 5 months. Ugh!

You got waifed.

The waif has the skeleton key to they heart of the kind hearted man. The princess of fairytales and the damsel in distress archetype. The most feminine demure creature you will ever encounter. Self effacing in every way when they flip on the siren they entice like no other. They eye contact in the sex penetrates your soul. The waif is the one you will never forget.

[AlwaysForgiving]

You got waifed.

The waif has the skeleton key to they heart of the kind hearted man. The princess of fairytales and the damsel in distress archetype. The most feminine demure creature you will ever encounter. Self effacing in every way when they flip on the siren they entice like no other. They eye contact in the sex penetrates your soul. The waif is the one you will never forget.

LMAO! This was funny, Blimblam. Thanks... .I needed a good laugh today!

It's the combination of the "broken, nobody-can-help-me-but-you" girl and the super-intense sex that sinks many a ship around here... .

[fred6]

Mine was the same way shellbent. Easy as hell to detach from on her end. She deleted me from FB twice for my emotional posting. The first time I asked her to add me back. Not this time, to hell with her. She can't even add me back since I blocked her.

I recently came to realize that my two most serious and also most recent relationships where with BPD gfs.

The first one was a Witch and I never really got attached to her, I was having fun and also she was not really affecting me. So I had an easier time to detach then she did. She was in Scotland and didn't know anyone so she was stalking me on FB and posting on my wall everyday. Of course in that case I was getting together with my new gf. So I ignored her posts. Not like she wanted to talk to me or chat. I would have still responded to her I think.

The quiet, mysterious, silent, sweet perfect girl is what got under my skin, I am also a bit of a loner, and tend to think that most people don't get me. She was a master at making a connection with me. One that I can't even sever after 5 months. Ugh!

You got waifed.

The waif has the skeleton key to they heart of the kind hearted man. The princess of fairytales and the damsel in distress archetype. The most feminine demure creature you will ever encounter. Self effacing in every way when they flip on the siren they entice like no other. They eye contact in the sex penetrates your soul. The waif is the one you will never forget.

Mine was always the victim. But she always acted detached and never acted like she really "needed" me. Never was really into sex, but the first 8 months wasn't bad. Maybe a waif/hermit if there is such a thing. What does a hermit do? Actually, I think she had waif/hermit/queen/witch traits all wrapped into one big effed up burrito. Is that even possible?

[Blimblam]

Mine was the same way shellbent. Easy as hell to detach from on her end. She deleted me from FB twice for my emotional posting. The first time I asked her to add me back. Not this time, to hell with her. She can't even add me back since I blocked her.

I recently came to realize that my two most serious and also most recent relationships where with BPD gfs.

The first one was a Witch and I never really got attached to her, I was having fun and also she was not really affecting me. So I had an easier time to detach then she did. She was in Scotland and didn't know anyone so she was stalking me on FB and posting on my wall everyday. Of course in that case I was getting together with my new gf. So I ignored her posts. Not like she wanted to talk to me or chat. I would have still responded to her I think.

The quiet, mysterious, silent, sweet perfect girl is what got under my skin, I am also a bit of a loner, and tend to think that most people don't get me. She was a master at making a connection with me. One that I can't even sever after 5 months. Ugh!

You got waifed.

The waif has the skeleton key to they heart of the kind hearted man. The princess of fairytales and the damsel in distress archetype. The most feminine demure creature you will ever encounter. Self effacing in every way when they flip on the siren they entice like no other. They eye contact in the sex penetrates your soul. The waif is the one you will never forget.

Mine was always the victim. But she always acted detached and never acted like she really "needed" me. Never was really into sex, but the first 8 months wasn't bad. Maybe a waif/hermit if there is such a thing. What does a hermit do? Actually, I think she had waif/hermit/queen/witch traits all wrapped into one big effed up burrito. Is that even possible?

Yeah it's possible. I saw every subtype with my ex but she was very waif dominant but she turned on the siren on the regs. She was often hermitish.

It really depends on their comorbidities. I find identifying these traits in my ex and how I reacted to them and why is really helping me to discover myself.

We often just lump them all together as BPD but breaking it down I find for me tells me volumes about myself. What I was looking for.

[jammo1989]

OMFG guys! i just came back from my work out, and i went on her new bfs FB, hes at hers now btw and he posted this  status:

Early night early start back home got some thinking to do Ones I'm gone I'm gone make out things that I haven't even done for 1 why would I make u jel when your mine!

LMAO this is amazing!

What does he mean, has her jealousy kicked in, or am i reading this wrong?

[Blimblam]

OMFG guys! i just came back from my work out, and i went on her new bfs FB, hes at hers now btw and he posted this  status:

Early night early start back home got some thinking to do Ones I'm gone I'm gone make out things that I haven't even done for 1 why would I make u jel when your mine!

LMAO this is amazing!

What does he mean, has her jealousy kicked in, or am i reading this wrong?

I was where you are now.  Things will get worst before they get better. 

Jammo do you want to detach?

[jammo1989]

OMFG guys! i just came back from my work out, and i went on her new bfs FB, hes at hers now btw and he posted this  status:

Early night early start back home got some thinking to do Ones I'm gone I'm gone make out things that I haven't even done for 1 why would I make u jel when your mine!

LMAO this is amazing!

What does he mean, has her jealousy kicked in, or am i reading this wrong?

I was where you are now.  Things will get worst before they get better. 

Jammo do you want to detach?

dude, am i reading that right though, he said once im gone, im gone, why would i make you jealous when your mine! they have only been together 2 and a half months! Has she really started, im buzzing here, yes i want to detach BUT i also want to see her relationship fail one because it shows she has BPD (2 months in WOW!) and the fact when he got with her he was posting things on his FB like are you jealous (aimed at me) im buzzing to watch him get hurt wow so happy i could cry right now!

[Blimblam]

OMFG guys! i just came back from my work out, and i went on her new bfs FB, hes at hers now btw and he posted this  status:

Early night early start back home got some thinking to do Ones I'm gone I'm gone make out things that I haven't even done for 1 why would I make u jel when your mine!

LMAO this is amazing!

What does he mean, has her jealousy kicked in, or am i reading this wrong?

I was where you are now.  Things will get worst before they get better. 

Jammo do you want to detach?

dude, am i reading that right though, he said once im gone, im gone, why would i make you jealous when your mine! they have only been together 2 and a half months! Has she really started, im buzzing here, yes i want to detach BUT i also want to see her relationship fail one because it shows she has BPD (2 months in WOW!) and the fact when he got with her he was posting things on his FB like are you jealous (aimed at me) im buzzing to watch him get hurt wow so happy i could cry right now!

Lol I know that feeling.

I hope this can give you some closure and reassure you she has BPD and there is no future for you with this girl.

Don't feel ashamed if your not there yet! 

Heck I still go back to internal bargaining regularly. It's like when ever I feel something beautiful I feel my ex and remember the way she looked at me.

[shellbent]

OMFG guys! i just came back from my work out, and i went on her new bfs FB, hes at hers now btw and he posted this  status:

Early night early start back home got some thinking to do Ones I'm gone I'm gone make out things that I haven't even done for 1 why would I make u jel when your mine!

LMAO this is amazing!

What does he mean, has her jealousy kicked in, or am i reading this wrong?

We're all reading this wrong. This guy's grammar sucks. No punctuation. Nothing. Statuses are stupid, if you want to communicate to only 1 person, why wouldn't you use the messenger?

[shellbent]

Yeah it's possible. I saw every subtype with my ex but she was very waif dominant but she turned on the siren on the regs. She was often hermitish.

It really depends on their comorbidities. I find identifying these traits in my ex and how I reacted to them and why is really helping me to discover myself.

We often just lump them all together as BPD but breaking it down I find for me tells me volumes about myself. What I was looking for.

In my two cases I saw the witch/queen and waif/hermit respectively.

I think those go together very well.

The first one is the dominant and the second is dormant. If the waif fails, they go to hermit, but they don't want to be alone it goes against the lack of self. So the waif takes over.

[jammo1989]

OMFG guys! i just came back from my work out, and i went on her new bfs FB, hes at hers now btw and he posted this  status:

Early night early start back home got some thinking to do Ones I'm gone I'm gone make out things that I haven't even done for 1 why would I make u jel when your mine!

LMAO this is amazing!

What does he mean, has her jealousy kicked in, or am i reading this wrong?

We're all reading this wrong. This guy's grammar sucks. No punctuation. Nothing. Statuses are stupid, if you want to communicate to only 1 person, why wouldn't you use the messenger?

my ex got into a relationship 2 days after i told her i couldnt do this any more, due to her push/ pull behaviour, she then blocked me on FB, blocked my number for no valid reason what so ever, she just smiled at me and said never contact me again.  That was HIS status that he posted on his own FB wall, hes at my exes house now, and they have only been together for 2 and a half months.  Hes not trying to communicate to everyone hes obviously the drama type and posted it about my ex on his wall.  

[Blimblam]

OMFG guys! i just came back from my work out, and i went on her new bfs FB, hes at hers now btw and he posted this  status:

Early night early start back home got some thinking to do Ones I'm gone I'm gone make out things that I haven't even done for 1 why would I make u jel when your mine!

LMAO this is amazing!

What does he mean, has her jealousy kicked in, or am i reading this wrong?

We're all reading this wrong. This guy's grammar sucks. No punctuation. Nothing. Statuses are stupid, if you want to communicate to only 1 person, why wouldn't you use the messenger?

They like fugtards with a sort of thug mentality. For one guys like that aren't deep and are selfish and arrogant. This makes them easy to understand and sets them up to be in a rs whee they can be used and neglected which is comfortable for them. A lot of drama.

[fred6]

OMFG guys! i just came back from my work out, and i went on her new bfs FB, hes at hers now btw and he posted this  status:

Early night early start back home got some thinking to do Ones I'm gone I'm gone make out things that I haven't even done for 1 why would I make u jel when your mine!

LMAO this is amazing!

What does he mean, has her jealousy kicked in, or am i reading this wrong?

We're all reading this wrong. This guy's grammar sucks.

Yes, someone please translate to English please, . I had to read it 3-4 times and I still don't fully understand it... .

[jammo1989]

Yeah it's possible. I saw every subtype with my ex but she was very waif dominant but she turned on the siren on the regs. She was often hermitish.

It really depends on their comorbidities. I find identifying these traits in my ex and how I reacted to them and why is really helping me to discover myself.

We often just lump them all together as BPD but breaking it down I find for me tells me volumes about myself. What I was looking for.

Hes a very emotional guy by the sounds of things he posts statuses about people breaking his heart, a real Beta of a man, shes going to destroy him, and its only been 2 months, i love karma!

In my two cases I saw the witch/queen and waif/hermit respectively.

I think those go together very well.

The first one is the dominant and the second is dormant. If the waif fails, they go to hermit, but they don't want to be alone it goes against the lack of self. So the waif takes over.

[jammo1989]

OMFG guys! i just came back from my work out, and i went on her new bfs FB, hes at hers now btw and he posted this  status:

Early night early start back home got some thinking to do Ones I'm gone I'm gone make out things that I haven't even done for 1 why would I make u jel when your mine!

LMAO this is amazing!

What does he mean, has her jealousy kicked in, or am i reading this wrong?

We're all reading this wrong. This guy's grammar sucks.

Yes, someone please translate to English please, . I had to read it 3-4 times and I still don't fully understand it... .

Hes at her house now by the way

Early night, early start back home ive got some thinking to do because Once I'm gone, I'm gone,  why are you making out things that I haven't even done?  for one, why would I even try to make make you jealous when your mine!

[jammo1989]

My next question is, why do BPDs become obsessively jealous? is it because she fears abandonment, or do you think shes trying to find a reason to push him away?

[Blimblam]

Probably becUse he himself is a drama queen so it plays into their big drama.