It's been 5 months now after a 19 year marriage. I still struggle daily - my mind has the answers to what the hell happened - but when will my heart catch up to my mind.
Realities are much easier to deal with than our dreams. Our dreams are much more flexible, adaptable and fixable.
Your heart will catch up when you let go of the dream.
I know mine did. I had a dream and even though reality spit in its face, day in and day out, I held on to that dream. For years. Even when it was almost a memory I puffed that dream up with my imagination.
And it kept on hurting.
Until I let it go. Then it got better a little at a time.
Now I dream of other things.
Well put, it came down to accepting that the soulmate, dreamgirl I had made her out to be, was a figment of my imagination, the nightmare that she was really was, when finally totally accepted, made it possible to move on. All the rest of the stuff I said was true for me, and moving on really does take some fixing our own fleas. The pwBPD bring out the worst in us, where with others all that stuff can sometimes lie dormant.
