Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 11, 2024, 07:26:41 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Things we can't ignore
What Does it Take to Be in a Relationship
Why We Struggle in Our Relationships
Is Your Relationship Breaking Down?
Codependency and Codependent Relationships
93
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Memory
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Memory (Read 371 times)
Butterfly12
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Posts: 111
Memory
«
on:
July 16, 2015, 04:45:16 AM »
Last night my husband came to the house to pick up our daughter (who was going to spend the night with him.) He brought his mother, of course. He sat down in the living room and played with our oldest and youngest for a bit, and seemed to be a pretty good mood. He was laughing and joking with the kids, and I was there... .being "hospitable." I made a few ironic comments, joking along, being silly.
He turned and looked at me deadpan.
And then when I made some minor joke about our daughter's love of certain food he also enjoys, like: "We know where that comes from!" He got all offended. Like how could I know something so personal about him. I used to be the one to grocery shop. ALLLLLL the time. I know what he eats.
And then. I had been going through kids clothes and had found a box with a few items of his in it that was his before our marriage. I showed them to the kids, and then when he arrived, showed him. One a good friend had given him and it had sat on our window sill in our kitchen for years. Like SIX years.
When he saw it, yesterday, he said, "That's not mine." And I said... .yes... .it is... .and told him the story of it. He then go this look on his face So offended I know about his life.
He hates that I know him. He hates that I have an insider perspective. He wants to be mysterious. I don't know how to give him what he wants... .but I tell him time and time again I am open to our lives changing and don't hold expectations of people that they are a certain way. Everyone desserves the freedom to be someone they want to be. But things like past belongings and favourite foods don't change. They just are. What do I do to make my knowledge less offensive?
And have others experienced this?
Logged
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
waverider
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405
If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
Re: Memory
«
Reply #1 on:
July 16, 2015, 05:19:28 AM »
There may be things about him that he doesn't want you to know, and so subconsciously wants to block everything. When you bring something up it makes him feel vulnerable... .maybe? All or nothing thinking
Logged
Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Memory
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...