How important is gratitude to detachment?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I do not wish to become ill or lose my faculties before I start living. I have a 34 year old friend who has just this, and 3 months to enjoy the rest of his life. It has had an introspective effect on me and I realise that as a co-dependent I haven't really been living. I have lived in a pseudo world. Defined by other people's desires, actions and words.

Today I am just grateful:

- That I experienced 15 years of marriage. Yes it was BPD, yes it hurt, but I am grateful for this journey and the excitement I have now to live my life, with three daughters who I love dearly.

- For recovery from pain, anguish and childhood wounds.

- For my life, my education and my achievement drive and the opportunity to take care of myself.

I'm not willing to resent any more, I'm not willing to be angry any more, it's time to bury these things which I have held onto for some seemingly righteous reason, but is actually just lead in my pockets.

[Moselle]

I do not wish to become ill or lose my faculties before I start living. I have a 34 year old friend who has just this, and 3 months to enjoy the rest of his life. It has had an introspective effect on me and I realise that as a co-dependent I haven't really been living. I have lived in a pseudo world. Defined by other people's desires, actions and words.

Today I am just grateful:

- That I experienced 15 years of marriage. Yes it was BPD, yes it hurt, but I am grateful for this journey and the excitement I have now to live my life, with three daughters who I love dearly.

- For recovery from pain, anguish and childhood wounds.

- For my life, my education and my achievement drive and the opportunity to take care of myself.

I'm not willing to resent any more, I'm not willing to be angry any more, it's time to bury these things which I have held onto for some seemingly righteous reason, but is actually just lead in my pockets.

[JerryRG]

Thank you Moselle

For reminding me of what I need to think about, gratitude

Thank God for these forums and for you!

The wonder of healing in being grateful is that it forces us to focus on ourselves and our lives, not the pwBPD.

 

[Moselle]

Hey Jerry,

You were on my mind as well as I wrote this .

Gratitude has actually had a profound impact on my behaviour. I'm accountable for every hour, every day, every week. I have begun to do a planning process to bring more structure back into my life, I sit on a sunday night and go through all that I am grateful for (the list is incredibly long), go though my big picture - (what I want from life), before planning the details of my week.

It dawned on me today, How would I behave if this was my last week? (My mate Jannes has 12 of these max!)  - very differently if I am honest about it, but perhaps that's the point. I am changing myself completely in this recovery process and this might be the most important motivator to live healthily.

The only difference between last Friday and this one, is that all of us are one week closer to departure. And I'm desperate to live my life instead of my ex's or anyone else's

[JerryRG]

So happy you are doing better Moselle

You have helped me see what is important. I lost a close friend  2 weeks ago, and during our pregnancy I helped a neighbor who had no family who found out her was dying, I know what you mean, our lives are a gift. To be celibrated, not lived in misery and fear with people who will not appropriate our worth or values.

Have a wonderful day Moselle

[boatman]

Thank you for this post. This theme of getting what I want out of life has been coming up a lot for me lately. I really like your idea of setting goals each week. I've had realizations of this before, but in the moment I still tend to behave out of fear instead of taking goal oriented actions. I'm going to start setting goals each week as well.

Thanks again! 

[heartandwhole]

Moselle,

I am sorry to hear about your friend Jannes's prognosis. That must be very hard. 

I think gratitude is not only important for detachment, but just for life in general. There is something so powerful, in my view, about tapping into that feeling. I enjoy visiting often. 

I have no doubt that your gratitude practice will enhance every moment of the days and hours and seconds you have left on this Earth. Keep going and let us know how your life gets better and better.

heartandwhole

[JerryRG]

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Always loved this quote 

[wendydarling]

Dear Moselle

I wish you and your dear young friend, her family, your family and all friends peace and love as you say your goodbyes. Being able to say goodbyes, to have that opportunity is immensely powerful and loving especially for our loved ones departing.

Sending you my support and strength from across the pond.

My arm is around your shoulder, I'm walking with you.

WDx

[Tobiasfunke]

Moselle you are the MVP poster of the day. Thanks for the boost.

[Moselle]

You're welcome Tobiasfunke. I get a big boost by reading posts here as well 

What resonated with you?

What's happening in your life where you need a boost?