What to do now?

[Loosestrife]

My BPD partner has been suicidal for a few weeks and is receiving psychiatric support. They have said that the relationship with me keeps triggering them and to stay away and not to contact them, but then they contact me again. They want unconditional  commitment, but that is hard to give  when they keep running off /are abusive.  This has happened frequently but this last time I was exhausted so I asked them not to contact me either. I have already gone back on that by messaging them to say I hope they are okay and to let them know I am here if they need me. I will not contact them again now, and I have sought out a T for support. Is there anything else I should do? I have heard nothing from them which is unusal and I am worried they have now cut me out completely. I love them very much.

I have never said for them not to contact me before and I know I gave  a mixed messgae by contacting after this, but in fairness (if that exists in a BPD relationship) I have never shown any inconsistency before. I know I will be painted black for not being there, even though neither of us know how that should look. Any advice from more skilled partners would be much appreciated.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[NGU]

I'm not skilled in advanced matters such as yours, so I won't comment on that part. I was just wondering if you could clarify your use of "they" and "them," after first mentioning a single BPD partner.

[Loosestrife]

I'm not skilled in advanced matters such as yours, so I won't comment on that part. I was just wondering if you could clarify your use of "they" and "them," after first mentioning a single BPD partner.

Sorry to confuse. I am still referring to a single BPD partner, just trying to preseve anonymity. 

[sweetheart]

Hello Loosestrife,

I include this link for you to read and hope it will help.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=79032.0

Suicidal ideation, threats and suicide attempts can be really frightening and overwhelming both for the pwBPD and the non. It is very positive that your partner is receiving psychiatric help and support and that you have identified a T.

I too contributed to triggering my dBPDh, he was suicidal on and off for about a year and took a number of impulsive and planned overdoses. He is more stable now.

It was this aspect of his BPD that brought me to this forum.

I would respect your partners request for space for now especially if they feel as though the relationship is triggering them. Give them some space to focus on their care and treatment.

I can hear it is hard for you that you haven't heard from your partner and I would be worried too it's a lot to deal with.

Maybe let them know in a brief text that you understand their need for space at the moment and that their getting support is important to you too. Ask them to contact you when they feel able. Or something like this.

[Loosestrife]

Thanks Sweet heart.