.love or hate i dont know my head is all confused

[tp2712]

i have pushed his buttons again by going hyper but self destructing while in hyper dosent happen a lot the hyper but very dangerous when i am in that frame i normally in low moods but when i go hyper get myself in all sorts of wrong situation and it like i dont care until i am low again and then guilt shame anger i feel towards myself comes  wish i could avoid these hyper times new credit card arrived today dont remember ordering one

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[waverider]

Hi tp2712

You sound very confused. Are experiencing extreme mood swings and difficulty controlling your reactions to stress?

Would you like to tell us some more so that we can best help you gather your thoughts some. It sounds like you could do with someone to listen and hopefully understand your situation.

If we can help we will do our best, if not we may be able to point you in the right direction.

Waverider

[tp2712]

i seem to go for ages where i am just about coping with things staying at home then out of no where i get all the stuff that has happened in my relationships running around in my head and go all hyper and think i dont care any more i be better off on my own i spend money i not got gone bankrupt put my self in risky situations get told things about my current partner then i just loose it i have a womans aid worker but i tend to lock my doors and get my self into self neglect mode which last a long time i have been admitted 3 times last year to hospital when i low and self neglect i need to find a way of dealing with problems better but i dont know where to start hoping advise on here will help me maybe my first step is to be single and try and learn how to cope with my mood swings in a safer way but i am so scared to be alone

[waverider]

This must be hard for you. It sounds like this is ongoing history for you.

Do you have a personality disorder yourself or are you in a relationship with someone who has a personality disorder.?

Waverider

[tp2712]

i have borderline personality and paranoid i have tried ignoring it not accepting i am mentally unwell always blaming every one else and not dealing with my own issues i made a decision about a month ago to try and get proper help and work on ways to keep me safe and well i love my partner but he may be right that i love him when it suits me i dont know if he is right i need to work out who i really am and what is realistically achievable hoping the stuff on this site will help me understand a bit more about my traits and behaviour and boundaries i have never had any  but my partner drinks alcohol every day and i always on edge around him as he is blinkered only hears what he wants to here so between us we make it hard work to stay safe in this relationship i only drink alcohol when i am in hyper mood not very oftened but that leads to all sorts of risky situation i should of gone to a mental health appointment 2 weeks ago but i was in hyper mood so never went cause i believe i am okay when hyper mood present dont know wether to ring and ask for new appointment afraid they will tell me off for not going

[maxen]

hi tp2712. i'm really sorry for what you're going through. you have been articulate about what you're feeling and it's not always easy to open up about this sort of thing so you should credit yourself for reaching out here.

i have tried ignoring it

i have clinical depression. i knew in my 20s that something wasn't right, but for years i tried to think my way through it, or live my way through it. but i never did, until i had a complete breakdown. only then did i go to the psychiatrist and i got the help i might have gotten much earlier. you say that you've made appointments with mental health professionals. if you call again i doubt they'd put you off. if you explain your situation they'd surely understand and give you another appt.

just so you know, this is a site for those who have been in relationships with people who have BPD. some of what you read here might be triggering. we do have a page of resources, Resources for BPD Sufferers, that has more links.

do you think you could call mental health services again?

[tp2712]

thanks for the correct link i have just rang them and there sending new appointment out i think

[maxen]

excellent!

[waverider]

thanks for the correct link i have just rang them and there sending new appointment out i think

Good news we all know what a hard road you are travelling and getting help is a difficult journey.

As maxen points out many hear have been on the receiving end of much of this dysfunction and it can upset you to read some of the stories. We wouldn't want yo to become disheartened so its good that you have been provided with more appropriate resouces.

All the best with your battle against this difficult problem you are struggling with


Waverider