DD14 and RTC - The Saga Continues

[Being Mindful]

RTC's are either locked or not. Which is it for this RTC?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[raytamtay3]

In our last conversation (via email) he said I have my opinion and he has his to which I responded that's right so unless you want to take her, keep yours to yourself.  

Is this even an option? Not that I would advise it, but I was under the impression that it's RTC or juvie for your DD with no option to go home for the time being... . Did I misunderstand?

It's my impression that the judge we have is taking what I'm recommending and ordering it (first by sending her to Juvi, then to a shelter rather than to my custody and then to an RTC. I spoke to the lawyer about what I would like to see happen and he waved a magic wand and it was done.  The judge will recommend somehing and look at me and I shake my head yes or no and she goes with it). However at this stage of things, I'm pretty sure it's now out of my hands. If she did what she was suppose to do and we went back and I made my recommendations to the lawyer, saying I wanted her home or that ex was given full custody and she could go there, I'm sure it would happen.

[raytamtay3]

RTC's are either locked or not. Which is it for this RTC?

Not. I chose it because I wanted DD to feel better about where she was going (less restrictive) as she is deathly afraid of mental hospitals (she's been in three for short stints with each saying how I have my hands full). But she now leaves me no choice and it sucks - to put it midly.

[Being Mindful]

RTC's are either locked or not. Which is it for this RTC?

Not. I chose it because I wanted DD to feel better about where she was going (less restrictive) as she is deathly afraid of mental hospitals (she's been in three for short stints with each saying how I have my hands full). But she now leaves me no choice and it sucks - to put it midly.

Ray, Look at your statement above closely... . I've highlighted in red where emotions may have directed decisions, instead of your DD's absolute needs. Also, most everyone would be afraid at mental hospitals, and that is where validation statements can go a long way. Hope that is helpful and doesn't sound critical.

Are you taking good care of yourself through all of this?

[raytamtay3]

RTC's are either locked or not. Which is it for this RTC?

Not. I chose it because I wanted DD to feel better about where she was going (less restrictive) as she is deathly afraid of mental hospitals (she's been in three for short stints with each saying how I have my hands full). But she now leaves me no choice and it sucks - to put it midly.

Ray, Look at your statement above closely... . I've highlighted in red where emotions may have directed decisions, instead of your DD's absolute needs. Also, most everyone would be afraid at mental hospitals, and that is where validation statements can go a long way. Hope that is helpful and doesn't sound critical.

Are you taking good care of yourself through all of this?

Today I took a step in trying to take care of myself. I had my Dr. prescribe me Venlafaxine. I hope it helps.

Does anyone know of or have epxerience with this?

[MammaMia]

Ray

I am glad you saw a doctor. I assume this is an anti-anxiety med.  Personally, I could not deal with my BPDs without my Zoloft.  I have a family history of anxiety and depression.

I hope this makes your life easier to tolerate.  It may take some time to kick in, so be patient.

[raytamtay3]

Ray

I am glad you saw a doctor. I assume this is an anti-anxiety med.  Personally, I could not deal with my BPDs without my Zoloft.  I have a family history of anxiety and depression.

I hope this makes your life easier to tolerate.  It may take some time to kick in, so be patient.

It a new Dr., so I had to go in for a physical and figured I'd bring up the anxiousness and depression I've been feeling lately.  I was on Celexa and Wellbutrin a few years ago (had a stroke and had anxiety about getting another), but went off due to the side affects. I'm a little concerned about the side affects of this one, but am willing to try it out. I hear the withdrawal symptoms are horrible though. We shall see. I do know it takes awhile to "kick in".

[raytamtay3]

Received an update about DD. She is STILL running at night. She came back the other MORNING with hickies on her neck! At this point I'm completely afraid she's going to get pregnant. CM told me DD's probation officer is coming to the facility Thursday. WTH is DD's problem? Is this her new plan; to get herself knocked up? Grr!

[Being Mindful]

Received an update about DD. She is STILL running at night. She came back the other MORNING with hickies on her neck! At this point I'm completely afraid she's going to get pregnant. CM told me DD's probation officer is coming to the facility Thursday. WTH is DD's problem? Is this her new plan; to get herself knocked up? Grr!

Ray, What is the RTC doing in regards to additional supervision for your daughter? Have they considered getting the police involved when she runs? She is a danger to herself and needs greater protection. What about a CHIPs petition?

[crazedncrazymom]

Hi Raytay,

I've just read up on your daughter's escapades.  I'm so sorry she hasn't gotten with the program.  It must be so scary for you!  If she's running every single night, then she needs to be moved immediately.  I would even talk to the RTC today and ask that she be transferred to a hospital until you can arrange for her to be moved to a more secure facility.  Obviously she doesn't realize how unsafe she is being or does realize it and doesn't care.  It really doesn't sound like this facility is equipped to handle a runner. 

When my dd was in rtc, she was in two different facilities.  The first one was locked and the second one was unlocked.  After we moved her to the second one, she ran on her second day there.  I talked to her and told her if she did it again I'd move her to someplace she couldn't run.  Maybe even back to the dreaded first one.  She never tried again.

[Being Mindful]

Hi Ray, I have been thinking about your DD and her running. When my DD was in RTC, there were periodic runners for sure, but there was a specific protocol that the RTC followed. Can you ask your RTC what is the protocol. Also ask them what is being done to protect your DD, since she is getting past their supervision. At my DD's RTC, there were frequent bed checks, and supervision nearly at every door at night time. Every kid was accounted for, but there were times they still got past it.

I think you are at a very critical place and need to dig in to get some answers and most important some changes, either within this RTC or a locked facility.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[heartandwhole]

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