BPD ExGF that also has paranoid schizophrenia

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I met a girl about a year ago. I'll make the beginning a long story short. We initially didn't like eachother but she indirectly mentioned she had a funny photo on twitter and I should check it out. I go on her twitter and it was filled with things relating to advice I had given her, posts that were related to my interests etc. (which I know now was mirroring) I decided to make a twitter account and that led to us indirectly tweeting eachother over a few months to test the waters. I noticed something strange. She would reply to Elon Musk's tweets with things that seemed to be intended for me. We eventually began messaging eachother and she would imply that I was Elon Musk. The Elon Musk we know in the public eye wasn't the "real" Elon Musk, I was. You can't make this stuff up I assure you this is all 100% true. Initially I thought I was being trolled by her based on the initial tension and apparent dislike between us at the beginning. But no, I was wrong.

I later found out she was clinically diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. Additionally, she hasn't been diagnosed with BPD, but I believe she has a comorbidity of BPD along with her Schizophrenia. In honesty, I do feel sorry for her. I relate strongly with a lot of posts here. I'm angry about the breakup and the way she treated me, but I have moments of clarity where I do have compassion for her. She was obviously abused as a young child which at the very least caused her strong fears of abandonment and possibly influenced her to also become schizophrenic.

By the time I worked out that she actually was serious about the Elon stuff, and it wasn't a joke, I was already emotionally attached to this woman. She was obviously very mentally ill, but was beautiful, charismatic, fun to be around, and we had a very strong connection (as a result of the mirroring) so I felt I could be her white knight and save her. This decision has caused me so much grief.

After about a month we decided we would be a couple, and a month after that, slowly she would begin to have more and more frequent phases of devaluation. I would have an opinion and she would indirectly make a tweet about how stupid xyz is. She would break my boundaries I had mentioned to her, and come up with some explanation of how it wasn't her fault. I believe she would do it because she liked the feeling of watching me squirm, and getting a reaction out of me because it would make her feel like I cared about her and was serious about her. I would eventually get sick of her games and take a step back, not talking to her for a few days but she would obsessivley message me trying to get my attention and reel me back in. She would message me all day about how she loves me, she was sorry, plead her ignorance. It's obvious but worth mentioning my attatchment style is more avoidant, and hers was definitely more anxious.

This would slowly escalate over a month until I had enough. I felt that I had to leave her in order to keep my self respect. I wasn't going to hang around and take her abuse because I knew I deserved to be treated with respect and kindness. I broke up with her, and initially she had messaged me obsessively as she had done when we were togther for about 3 days. But this time, I think she knew she had really messed up and I would be gone for good. After those 3 days she had begun posting thirst traps to make me jealous, making tweets professing her love for Elon Musk, and eventually she began flaunting how she was talking to other men. Just as in the beginning of using social media to indirectly influence me, she was doing that again in the wake of the breakup in a more devaluating nature.

It's been 3 months now since the end of the breakup, I still feel somewhat attached but I am recovering, and her behaviour has escalated still. Now her values have completely changed. I don't want to mention what they are, but less just say that when she was pursuing me she had portrayed similar beliefs to mine, and now they are the polar opposite. She also now hates Elon Musk, which I believe is her way to project her feelings of rejection and abandonment from me in the form of anger. I know this because she had made a burner account to obsessively message me after I had blocked her when we were together, she was now using this account to harass and abuse Elon and Grimes on Twitter. It's almost like she wanted me to find the tweets, so I would know how much she hates me, to hurt me, or get my attention in a negative way. Any attention is better than none I guess. Additionally, she is abusing Grimes because of jealousy I believe.

She appears to still be in a phase of devaluation 3 months after the breakup. It makes me upset that I have to be the bad guy to protect myself, and she believes I am this horrible abusive person. It's a pattern with her, according to her all her exs are horrible abusive narcissists. All the effort and time I spent loving and caring about her, supporting her with her conditon and this is how it ends up. Do you think this phase of devaluation will last forever? I guess it doesn't matter, but it hurts that she thinks about me in this way even though on some level I still care about her. Overall I feel I got off lightly considering how it might have escalated if I had sticked around.

[Alex1337]

I met a girl about a year ago. I'll make the beginning a long story short. We initially didn't like eachother but she indirectly mentioned she had a funny photo on twitter and I should check it out. I go on her twitter and it was filled with things relating to advice I had given her, posts that were related to my interests etc. (which I know now was mirroring) I decided to make a twitter account and that led to us indirectly tweeting eachother over a few months to test the waters. I noticed something strange. She would reply to Elon Musk's tweets with things that seemed to be intended for me. We eventually began messaging eachother and she would imply that I was Elon Musk. The Elon Musk we know in the public eye wasn't the "real" Elon Musk, I was. You can't make this stuff up I assure you this is all 100% true. Initially I thought I was being trolled by her based on the initial tension and apparent dislike between us at the beginning. But no, I was wrong.

I later found out she was clinically diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. Additionally, she hasn't been diagnosed with BPD, but I believe she has a comorbidity of BPD along with her Schizophrenia. In honesty, I do feel sorry for her. I relate strongly with a lot of posts here. I'm angry about the breakup and the way she treated me, but I have moments of clarity where I do have compassion for her. She was obviously abused as a young child which at the very least caused her strong fears of abandonment and possibly influenced her to also become schizophrenic.

By the time I worked out that she actually was serious about the Elon stuff, and it wasn't a joke, I was already emotionally attached to this woman. She was obviously very mentally ill, but was beautiful, charismatic, fun to be around, and we had a very strong connection (as a result of the mirroring) so I felt I could be her white knight and save her. This decision has caused me so much grief.

After about a month we decided we would be a couple, and a month after that, slowly she would begin to have more and more frequent phases of devaluation. I would have an opinion and she would indirectly make a tweet about how stupid xyz is. She would break my boundaries I had mentioned to her, and come up with some explanation of how it wasn't her fault. I believe she would do it because she liked the feeling of watching me squirm, and getting a reaction out of me because it would make her feel like I cared about her and was serious about her. I would eventually get sick of her games and take a step back, not talking to her for a few days but she would obsessivley message me trying to get my attention and reel me back in. She would message me all day about how she loves me, she was sorry, plead her ignorance. It's obvious but worth mentioning my attatchment style is more avoidant, and hers was definitely more anxious.

This would slowly escalate over a month until I had enough. I felt that I had to leave her in order to keep my self respect. I wasn't going to hang around and take her abuse because I knew I deserved to be treated with respect and kindness. I broke up with her, and initially she had messaged me obsessively as she had done when we were togther for about 3 days. But this time, I think she knew she had really messed up and I would be gone for good. After those 3 days she had begun posting thirst traps to make me jealous, making tweets professing her love for Elon Musk, and eventually she began flaunting how she was talking to other men. Just as in the beginning of using social media to indirectly influence me, she was doing that again in the wake of the breakup in a more devaluating nature.

It's been 3 months now since the end of the breakup, I still feel somewhat attached but I am recovering, and her behaviour has escalated still. Now her values have completely changed. I don't want to mention what they are, but less just say that when she was pursuing me she had portrayed similar beliefs to mine, and now they are the polar opposite. She also now hates Elon Musk, which I believe is her way to project her feelings of rejection and abandonment from me in the form of anger. I know this because she had made a burner account to obsessively message me after I had blocked her when we were together, she was now using this account to harass and abuse Elon and Grimes on Twitter. It's almost like she wanted me to find the tweets, so I would know how much she hates me, to hurt me, or get my attention in a negative way. Any attention is better than none I guess. Additionally, she is abusing Grimes because of jealousy I believe.

She appears to still be in a phase of devaluation 3 months after the breakup. It makes me upset that I have to be the bad guy to protect myself, and she believes I am this horrible abusive person. It's a pattern with her, according to her all her exs are horrible abusive narcissists. All the effort and time I spent loving and caring about her, supporting her with her conditon and this is how it ends up. Do you think this phase of devaluation will last forever? I guess it doesn't matter, but it hurts that she thinks about me in this way even though on some level I still care about her. Overall I feel I got off lightly considering how it might have escalated if I had sticked around.

[Turkish]

In almost 10 years in this site, this is a unique one, triangulating a public figure by proxy.

What about her do you still feel attached?

[Alex1337]

Sorry for the delayed response.

I agree it's such a crazy and unique situation. BPD and paranoid schizophrenia are a total mind PLEASE READ to engage with, let alone when you combine the two. As I mentioned she is on that burner account to say what a stupid horrible nazi Elon Musk is now that I broke up with her. Projecting her feelings about me onto his twitter account is my best guess there. It's by proxy for us, but for her it's real. She really believed I was Elon, and that "they" separated us when she was a child, and brainwashed her to remove her memories. I also forgot to mention that she also believes Elon molested her as a child, and accused me of molesting her essentially.

I do feel very attached to her still 4 months after the breakup as funny as that sounds. I can't help it because of hormones, I guess. I hate that I feel that way and beat myself up over it. I'm pissed off at myself for even trying to have a relationship with a severely mentally ill person. Breaking up with her was an insanely hard thing to do because I loved her but I knew it was the right thing to do for myself. Worth mentioning I haven't contacted her in those 4 months post breakup. I was expecting to receive a lot of hate from her these past few months, but thankfully all her attempts at revenge have been indirect. She's stopped taking her meds thinking she can handle her delusions on her own, and probably won't be long till she is back in a mental hospital when she inevitably has an episode.