Long periods without contact

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Has anyone had their ex be out of the picture for a long time and then reappear wanting to see their child? On February 13th it will be a year since he has been involved. My fear is that if I moved away and at some point he wanted contact the judge would just give him time, since supervised visits wouldn't be possible if we were 1300 miles apart. Or on the flip side if he moved away. He is still in my town. He has a life history of moving from state to state and staying with different people as he burns his bridges. Last week I had a customer come into my work and tell me to give my ex a message. I wasn't even aware this customer knew my ex. His message was "tell that effin thief I want my housekey back", I didn't ask the circumstances but I assume it was someone who let ex sleep on his couch and ex ripped him off. I know he has done it to atleast 3 other people here in the last 2 years. This is a small town, everyone talks. If he stops finding people that will take him in he will have to move on. So I am afraid that if he moves and wants contact the judge could just give him time.

[rarsweet]

Has anyone had their ex be out of the picture for a long time and then reappear wanting to see their child? On February 13th it will be a year since he has been involved. My fear is that if I moved away and at some point he wanted contact the judge would just give him time, since supervised visits wouldn't be possible if we were 1300 miles apart. Or on the flip side if he moved away. He is still in my town. He has a life history of moving from state to state and staying with different people as he burns his bridges. Last week I had a customer come into my work and tell me to give my ex a message. I wasn't even aware this customer knew my ex. His message was "tell that effin thief I want my housekey back", I didn't ask the circumstances but I assume it was someone who let ex sleep on his couch and ex ripped him off. I know he has done it to atleast 3 other people here in the last 2 years. This is a small town, everyone talks. If he stops finding people that will take him in he will have to move on. So I am afraid that if he moves and wants contact the judge could just give him time.

[rarsweet]

Well his father told me today that ex is apparently sleeping in his truck in the Walmart parking lot. Ugh.

[ForeverDad]

Document it in your journal or log.  He's allowed to sleep in his truck if he wants.  But it ought to be concerning to the court as his recent history if it goes back to court.

In short, live your life as you have been.  :)on't worry overmuch about him, what he should do, what he might do, what he might not do, etc.  :)on't let him live rent free in your head.  He may "stick his foot in the door" but nothing more.

If you move, file your paperwork with the court with your head held high.  You have valid reasons to move.  You have valid reasons why his parenting time should be minimal and have at least some level of supervision or monitoring.

Yes, it's hard but just take a few deep breaths to calm yourself whenever you're stressed about these long term issues.

[rarsweet]

I did move 2 months ago to a smaller apartment, to save some money. I filed the address change with the court and sent it to his last known address, which was his father's. His dad has since moved. The mail got rerouted to his dad's new address. His dad's girlfriend said she texted ex to let him know I had sent him mail and they refused to sign for it. He never responded to her or went to pick up the mail. It has been sent back to me and I used tracking. Yes I have no further obligation to him.