My reaction to latest news... Healing and moving forward.

[wavelife]

My wife and I have been separated for just over a year now.  She has had a new boyfriend for about 8 months and I just found out she is engaged and already using his last name... .What the heck?  Hahaha  We are still married.  At first I was a little angry about it but I can see clearly now and the FOG is gone.  It is so clear how crazy she is.    I am so grateful to not live in "crazy's" world anymore! 

My only frustration these days is that I ignored my instincts way back when.  Stupid!  I have ignored my gut only a few times in life and both times were mistakes... .I will always listen to my instincts going forward.

We are all free!  As the FOG clears and we see things clearly we can all be grateful to not be in that world anymore.  Keep moving forward!  Life is great and healing will come.

[Pretty Woman]

Wavelife  

They move on soo fast it's mind boggling. I will tell you this... .and you probably see it yourself now that you are coming out of the fog... .

How can any of their words have ever been truthful? Honestly, there is no way someone can be madly in love with you one moment and onto the next a week, or month later.

That's not how love works.

All we are are attachments... .until they detach and re-attach onto something new. Sometimes I feel like I was in an alien movie... .where the alien takes over your body until they don't need it anymore... .

and the victim dies because they "sucked the life out of you" and took over your body until they didn't need it anymore.

At least we are not dead.  

Don't beat yourself up for this. Look at ALL the souls on these boards! We ALL fell for a person with BPD! I know I didn't listen to my gut at the beginning (oh there were signs) and I should have.

Consider it a life lesson. It's a shi _ _y lesson but it had to happen... .and we've learned!

Be good to yourself, friend. It is soo ridiculous your ex is still married to you and using this other guys name. Yes, that is nuts. Yes that is crazy.

See, you've been validated  

So glad you are out. Pity the fool who is now involved with this trainwreck.



PW

[wavelife]

Thank you Pretty Woman!

The things I have read on this site are mind boggling!  You can't make this stuff up! hahaha

My life is back to normal and happy with her gone.  I am smiling again, I do not feel like I am losing my mind anymore.  She was not worth any of it and Thank God I am free.

I do kind of chuckle about the current engagement... .She is all his.  Good luck, he will need it.  You just bought a seat on the crazy train.

You are right... .lesson learnt    Onward and Upward.

[Remiman]

Guys - I can't seem to get that mind frame. That I'm better off without. I know I need to, but when I think it, it just becomes overwhelmed with a sense of unfairness, guilt, she's a person etc. maybe I'm the broken one

[seang]

My wife and I have been separated for just over a year now.  She has had a new boyfriend for about 8 months and I just found out she is engaged and already using his last name... .What the heck?  Hahaha  We are still married.  At first I was a little angry about it but I can see clearly now and the FOG is gone.  It is so clear how crazy she is.    I am so grateful to not live in "crazy's" world anymore! 

My only frustration these days is that I ignored my instincts way back when.  Stupid!  I have ignored my gut only a few times in life and both times were mistakes... .I will always listen to my instincts going forward.

We are all free!  As the FOG clears and we see things clearly we can all be grateful to not be in that world anymore.  Keep moving forward!  Life is great and healing will come.

Thanks, that helped.  You are bang on!

[seang]

Guys - I can't seem to get that mind frame. That I'm better off without. I know I need to, but when I think it, it just becomes overwhelmed with a sense of unfairness, guilt, she's a person etc. maybe I'm the broken one

You will man.  I promise you, you will.  Lots of factors determine how long, but you will get there.  We all question everything, our own sanity.  It is not us.  Im in and out of the FOG atm I think, but i am so opened armed to getting, right out now!  

Hang in there dude, try and remember the crap.  If that fails, break NC an call her.  That will remind you.  LOL, kidding DONT BREAK NC!"

[wavelife]

Guys - I can't seem to get that mind frame. That I'm better off without. I know I need to, but when I think it, it just becomes overwhelmed with a sense of unfairness, guilt, she's a person etc. maybe I'm the broken one

It will happen.  I felt the same way 8 months ago.  You will get to a place of acceptance, the FOG will lift.  You will see things clearly and you will start feeling like yourself again.  You will stop asking yourself "am I the crazy one?"  It will happen just takes a little time.  Take care of yourself!  

[Remiman]

Guys - I can't seem to get that mind frame. That I'm better off without. I know I need to, but when I think it, it just becomes overwhelmed with a sense of unfairness, guilt, she's a person etc. maybe I'm the broken one

You will man.  I promise you, you will.  Lots of factors determine how long, but you will get there.  We all question everything, our own sanity.  It is not us.  Im in and out of the FOG atm I think, but i am so opened armed to getting, right out now!  

Hang in there dude, try and remember the crap.  If that fails, break NC an call her.  That will remind you.  LOL, kidding DONT BREAK NC!"

Lol. Thanks Seang and wavelife. This one made me laugh, though it is true. Every time I break NC I'm reminded pretty quickly why I shouldn't have

[helpmewithbpd]

This post gave me a few little laughs,  I believe thanks to this website in the last week and a half of reading and understanding things more I feel alot better,  a month ago all I could think about was her and ending my pain,  now I understand things alot more,  I realise I'm not crazy but dam she is ,  I'm in and out of FOG but most days now I realise that there was never a life with her but with out her there is,  it does take time and the pain really hurts at time but think of the pain they put you through and think to yourself do you want to life with that for the next 40 years... .

[wavelife]

This post gave me a few little laughs,  I believe thanks to this website in the last week and a half of reading and understanding things more I feel alot better,  a month ago all I could think about was her and ending my pain,  now I understand things alot more,  I realise I'm not crazy but dam she is ,  I'm in and out of FOG but most days now I realise that there was never a life with her but with out her there is,  it does take time and the pain really hurts at time but think of the pain they put you through and think to yourself do you want to life with that for the next 40 years... .

you're heading in the right direction helpmewithBPD!  We are going to make it out stronger and happier than before them. Keep on keeping on!