First post

[Lovejoy144]

Hi everyone,
My adult step-child has BPD and I think my husband and I have reached a tipping point. I'm figuring this site out and I think I have to post something first.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hi there Lovejoy144

Yes, it can be a little daunting when one first comes on but you did just fine.

Hope you have spent some time not only reading some of the posts but also searching through the website to see all the valuable information that is available...with links to more.

This is a difficult journey all of us are on.  There are things we can learn to help make it less difficult.  For me it was learning to look after myself...to realize that my life was just important as my daughter's...my happiness not reliant on her moods.  While that may sound selfish, it is preservation-of-self.  You make sure you are safe, not drowning, so you can work on helping them.

So, Lovejoy144, hope now that you have gotten your feet wet, you will feel comfortable in sharing more of your story.   

Huat

[Thanks]

Hi, Lovejoy,

A BPD adult child can put enormous strain on a marriage, for sure. My husband and I have also been through this. My BPD daughter's behavior started to make so much more sense when I learned about BPD and educated myself about how to manage my relationship with her. It kind of set an example for my husband and I think it made things easier for him, in terms of reacting to her. I think he feels more supported by me but at the same time I am not enabling her behavior. And he has been more insightful about how she behaves to me.

So I hope you'll take that suggestion to learn all you can about BPD, and also take care of yourself and set limits to what you will put up with. That has really helped me and my family.

Sending you thoughts of caring and support!