5 months out update

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

  Hi BPD Family,

I just wanted to give everyone an update on where I am at 5 months out.  The divorce has now been final for just over 3 months.  I have not heard from her in just over 2 months.  And it has now been 5 months since she took off while I was out of town. 

Things have been on an upward trend since the beginning of the year.  My trip to Peru was awesome.   I stopped looking at the crazy lies she was posting about me on Redditt (January 1st was my last day).  I have gone on some dates.  A couple of the dates have been good...and led to second and third dates.  I even ended up accepting and going on the job interview for a great new job in the city she moved too.  (This was today and I decided I was not going to let her dictate my life or take this opportunity away from me).   Overall I finally think I am starting to feel a real and serious detachment from her and she is fading from my mind. 

In January, she started to block and unblock me again on facebook (I only know because it removes all the pictures and tags and then brings them back).  I decided I had enough and blocked her (this one will be permanent).  She also started posting on the facebook page of the dog rescue organization that I am on the board of directors of (despite having nothing to do with it and living 700 miles away).  As far I know to date she still has not changed her last name back (kind of strange for a 1 year marriage with no kids where she alleged horrific abuse).   I would love for someone to weigh in on why she is doing all this stuff, if you have a moment.

Overall I would give myself a B+ for January so far, up from a B- for December.  I will continue to work on myself, and pursue my goals.  I will also continue to stay NC, and work to detach and ultimately forgive. 

[LeftBehindGuy]

  Hi BPD Family,

I just wanted to give everyone an update on where I am at 5 months out.  The divorce has now been final for just over 3 months.  I have not heard from her in just over 2 months.  And it has now been 5 months since she took off while I was out of town. 

Things have been on an upward trend since the beginning of the year.  My trip to Peru was awesome.   I stopped looking at the crazy lies she was posting about me on Redditt (January 1st was my last day).  I have gone on some dates.  A couple of the dates have been good...and led to second and third dates.  I even ended up accepting and going on the job interview for a great new job in the city she moved too.  (This was today and I decided I was not going to let her dictate my life or take this opportunity away from me).   Overall I finally think I am starting to feel a real and serious detachment from her and she is fading from my mind. 

In January, she started to block and unblock me again on facebook (I only know because it removes all the pictures and tags and then brings them back).  I decided I had enough and blocked her (this one will be permanent).  She also started posting on the facebook page of the dog rescue organization that I am on the board of directors of (despite having nothing to do with it and living 700 miles away).  As far I know to date she still has not changed her last name back (kind of strange for a 1 year marriage with no kids where she alleged horrific abuse).   I would love for someone to weigh in on why she is doing all this stuff, if you have a moment.

Overall I would give myself a B+ for January so far, up from a B- for December.  I will continue to work on myself, and pursue my goals.  I will also continue to stay NC, and work to detach and ultimately forgive. 

[SinisterComplex]

I am happy to see you progressing. You are doing phenomenal all things considered. Keep it up. As for her behaviors...its pretty simple actually. You won. She has to deal with the loss and face her guilt and shame and obviously that isn't something she can do or wants to do. Any attempts from her to reach out have nothing to do with her caring about you. It is all a game of control at this point. She has no control over you and she lost the game so to speak. So moving forward...don't waste your time thinking about it any further than that. You are winning and have won because you are working on bettering yourself and living well. Continue to do so. I am truly happy for you.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-