Hello Janytao
I am one of those other grandparents
FaithHopeLove told you would be along soon.
The words you wrote...
"My daughter is my everything..."...jumped out at me. As long as you think that way it will be difficult for you to find the joy in life that you deserve. Life is so multi-faceted and there is nothing that should be one's main focus for happiness.
Our daughter gave birth to the 2 most beautiful grandchildren grandparents could have. Sadly for them and for us, they became her trump cards. I certainly hope that doesn't happen with you...and possibly it won't if you start taking steps now in dealing differently with your daughter and her BPD-type behaviours.
I continue to hear from this difficult child of mine what a bad mother I have been. The difference now is that I don't buy into it. As long as I did, she was the bully and I was the victim.
The thing is, Janytao, your daughter is not going to change. Why should she? It is going to be up to you to break the circle of dysfunction that has been happening.
Keep sharing...keep learning...so much to get from this website with links to more.
Glad you are here, Janytao!
Huat ; )