I just can’t take it anyone.

[Itstime]

My wife has borderline personality disorder. 
We married 14 years. I got laid off in January 2021. Was out of work until 4/21/2021.  Our relationship is up down all around.  As soon as I got the job she shut down. Back was out of line.  ER visits on day 1 of new job and day 2 of new job. She yelled at nurses and doctors and me that she was being mistreated.  It’s not the first time this has happened. It’s the 3rd time a hospital or ER has mistreated her. She does hang with friends quite a bit. No job but does cut hair and walk dogs.  She doesn’t take medication anymore but took many thing before.


I get angry at her because well. I’m lost to the point I can’t think and we have 3 kids. One is 14 and non binary. 10 and 8 are the girls.     I know she Ives them and me too.

Ever since I got the job it feels like she tries to almost sabotage my good days at the house. Piles of clothes everywhere dishes piled up and I am working 50 hours a week and trying to keep my sanity because the house is in constant chaos.


She went off on me this morning. My most important day on the job so far and she knew it was a big day. I can’t reveal to her important stuff anymore almost.  Honestly when I think back just loading kids in car for a fun day trip always turned disaster.  Like any important event in the family.  Holidays. Birthday.  All cause emotional reactions. 

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

That’s a lot of responsibility you’re shouldering. 

These relationships are challenging and it’s up to the emotionally healthy partner to be the leader, as you’re quite aware, but it’s so difficult when you don’t have a supportive partner.

https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship

People with BPD fear abandonment, yet they do things that often makes that a self fulfilling prophecy. Do you think your return to work might have triggered those feelings?

[Itstime]

Yes on the return to work. My mom said the same thing to me a few months back. I have been back to work for 3 months though and she has been seeming to just want to socialize with others now and the house is falling apart    When I was out of work I did have to handle a lot of the house or same thing   It falls apart.  I think I need support and I don’t know how to tell my work because I’m in probation 6 months and I’m at month 4

[Cat Familiar]

Does she have problems with organization? Structuring her time? Depression? Loneliness?