Help with resentment of my daughter

[Dozer2019]

We just recently got a diagnosis of BPD for our 15 year old daughter and we suspect her 20 year old sister also has BDP. Her sister falsely accused her grandfather of molesting her which sent our family on a tailspin. I almost left my husband and it essentially lead to an estrangement with her. I also battled depression and post traumatic stress for four years because of it. Now the 15 year old is accusing a young man of rape and I'm pretty sure it's to get back at him for dumping her for her friend. I can't help but feel like "here we go again". I don't want to do this again and it feels so hopeless. I can feel myself starting to resent my 15 year old but I have to suppress it for the sake of our daughter but that just makes it worse for me. I am currently going to counseling but I just wish we could talk to others who have been through the same kind of stress and drama. Anyway thanks for reading and if you have any suggestions on how to deal with the resentment I'm willing to try anything.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[juju2]

My heart goes out to you.

I have little experience.  In this situation.

My older dtr held some unusual beliefs about my boyfriend, not rape.  Basically just hated on him...  Couldn't reason with her.  She was away at college at the time, so that was saving grace...i think I just had to take good care of myself; outlive it.
Kids can be a real pain.
It's not all roses.

I do go to a 12 step for co dependency and that group has helped me w every thing.
This group helps.
Self care, limiting my exposure to her, not getting myself hooked.  Getting hobbies,
I really don't know which helped the most.
Pray.
Hang in there!
Reaching out like you did helps!

[FaithHopeLove]

I'd be willing to bet that just about all of us have felt anger and resentment toward our BPD children at some point. Their behavior can be really outrageous and hurtful. That does not mean we don't love them. It only means we are human. Be easy on yourself. You are not alone.