Michael1924,
I'd like to join
raspberry and welcome you. I can relate with the push / pull behavior with a pwBPD can feel like crazy making behavior to the non-disordered partner.
It didn't go well when I told my exBPDw that she has BPD. BPD carries a heavy stigma today, some people think that it's not treatable, it is a severe mental disorder and the most difficult within the personality disorders but it is treatable. We would have to ask ourselves how that would feel if someone told you you suffered from a severe mental illness? Her reality is as real to her as your reality is to you. That said, depression and anxiety don't carry a similar stigma and is widely accepted by society. How about saying something like you think that she may suffer from anxiety and depression to get her into therapy? She has to want to get help for herself and committed with doing her homework. Have you read this article on our site?
Borderline Personality Disorder Therapy - Is Your Loved One Serious?I'm glad that you decided to sign-up after lurking. You'll find that you'll fit in, many members share similar experiences and can offer you guidance and support. How are you doing? How is your support network with family and friends? What do you like to do for self care? I like lifting weights. Hang in there.
~Mutt