Hi harleyquinn.
I'm so sorry to hear about your tumultuous relationship and breakup. That is so painful to go through. I'm glad you found the site and have posted your story. There are many members here who can relate to the rollercoaster that you have been through.
Of course it is impossible to diagnose someone from afar and without professional credentials, but regardless of whether your partner has BPD or traits, the behavior that you experienced sounds very much like what many of us have been through. The resources on this site are naturally geared toward those in relationship with someone with BPD and other personality disorders, but rest assured that what you can learn here will help in ALL your relationships.
When I broke up with pwBPD, like you, I felt that the sorrow was much more intense than any other breakup I had experienced. This is normal. These relationships can be very emotionally "loaded" and often bring up issues (and sometimes even trauma) from our early childhoods.
I agree with peace74 in that you need to take very good care of yourself right now. Things really do get better. I was a mess physically and emotionally toward the end of my relationship and after the breakup. But I got well and so can you. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself extra TLC. It takes strength to confront our issues and let go of an intoxicating relationship.
There are tons of resources on this site to learn about BPD and our roles in the dysfunctional dance. One that really helped me a lot is here:
Surviving a Break-up when Your Partner has Borderline PersonalityDo you see anything that rings a bell in this article?
How a Borderline Relationship Evolves Keep writing, harleyquinn. We are here to support you.
heartandwhole