stop blaming yourself

[hurting300]

 I've been in your shoes before, your pwBPD just walked out of your life... my ex disappeared while I was at work taking our baby six months ago, silent treatment ever since then... I blamed myself, for yelling at her and calling her out... but why should I or you for that matter blame yourself? After all WE are the ones crying on a forum... not them... .The fact that we are here means we are the abused and the mistreated. Abusers don't grieve or get help unless ordered too. I never ask to be lied too. I did not ask to have a smear campaign against me. I never ask to be hit that one time. I did not ask for the insults. Like an old dog that's been poked one to many times I started biting back. The mighty BPD hated it! How dare you fight back! Then the gaslighting began. Push pull over and over... .Then that one faithful day April 2nd 2014 when I came home expecting to see my girlfriend and baby instead I found an empty house.

I knew what had happened but did not want to accept it. I found my clothes washed, house cleaned... and our bed still smelled like her. I called her phone number over one hundred times that night... no answer. I notified my attorneys and the police next morning... two weeks later, still NO text or call from her, but something strange happened, my neighbor told me he saw her drive by my house... I thought no way, she has no job and it's 15 miles out of the way... again my mother said, she drove by twice today. I'm being stalked now. By the person that dumped me via silent treatment. I did not deserve any of this... you do not deserve it either! If you are with someone that you have to go online to relieve your stress them leave them. It's not your fault. I'm six months out now... my body is looking great, my business is growing now. I'm better off. You are better off. Oh and they do ALWAYS COME BACK. stalking counts.

[Pieter2]

Amen Buddy! So true - You are correct in every aspect. It is terrible but not our fault. Everyone is soo much better off.

[Take2]

I'm so sorry to read what you've been through Healed Man... .good for you for sounding so strong!

Yes, it's very hard to not wind up reacting after being barraged with verbal abuse.  I too have reacted many times.  It almost never ended well.  I hope you get to see your baby at least... .  my heart breaks for you there but you've come along way in a short period of time... .  stay strong!

[hurting300]

You see, my borderline was very covert with her abuse and then once I reacted with a W T F she would cry victim. Yes her silent treatment is hard but I'll survive. I'm just waiting patiently for that next drive by. She'll call me soon... after all, a woman who can't keep a job can't raise a baby long. I WILL NOT validate her actions.