Others that have been in my position, how were you doing 4 months down the road? Is it extremely uncommon that we have not spoken or had any contact in that time? Whenever I mention that to anyone they always seem very surprised and that makes me question if I should have tried to reach out.
I'm at 4 months of no contact right now. I have seen my ex a couple of times and when I did she flaunted my replacement.
She lives in my neighbourhood but is hermitting. I suppose she only goes to grocery store to buy cigarettes because you can't get them ordered to your door like groceries. I am trying to shake off my addiction of checking out her social media (she has blocked me everywhere but her profiles are public). From checking out her socials it seems she mostly spends time at home, putting on make-up and dressing up to feel better.
The only bit of contact she made after we started NC was pay me a part of the money app she owed me via a mobile payment app. She seems to have changed her mind about payment, I haven't received a payment for months now. It wasn't a lot of money so I don't mind really.
I still feel conflicted about the prospect of her "coming back". I want to at least have sex with her again because I used sex to relieve the anxieties of the relationship. It's not a nice place to be in, wanting your abuser.
Hey TS thanks for sharing. Mine also lives in my neighborhood but we have not run into each other yet, I know when we were together she was very much a homebody so that's probably why. I feel like I get triggered when I look at her social media bc I see things about her that I miss (like her photography). I should probably not look but I can't help it bc it feels like the only piece of her I have left.
I also feel conflicted about her coming back. I blocked her number when this all happened 4 months ago and have left it that way. She has not tried to come over or mail me anything. I feel like if I were to go back I would be in a very weak position. However, if she did try to make contact I can't say I wouldn't feel relief. Maybe it's bc of the Christmas holiday, but I've just been missing her more recently. Can anyone share their thoughts? Or how they were able to handle similar feelings in a similar situation? I'm trying to cope with it the best I can.