Last Words

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I wanted to share with you the last words I spoke to my exBPD 8 days ago. I feel much better now with NC, but it is a daily struggle. The interesting thing about this last text I sent her, it was written  before I even realized what was wrong with her and before I found this site. I go back to read it many times a day now, just to remind me of how I felt.


I want to say something to you that comes from concern and not anger. You need to stop trying to prove your innocence, your reactions reflect your guilitness. Ok, the damage here is done. You have lied to me and abused me far too long. You are a classc abuser that blames everyone else for your behavior. You really need to get help. You are searching for something your never gonna find. You say you can't be in love, it's b/c you don't love yourself. And until you fix this problem you will continue on this path of destruction. Moving from one person to the next leaving many behind that truly loved you. So, stop worrying about what I think and move on to your next victim. U have another heart to destroy now. So leave me and mine alone. I now see you for what you truly are and I have to let go so the healing can begin. I truly hope you will one day get the help you need. Goodbye!


As I said, this was written pre knwledgement of her condition. Wow! After she received this... she blocked my number.

[Card1]

I wanted to share with you the last words I spoke to my exBPD 8 days ago. I feel much better now with NC, but it is a daily struggle. The interesting thing about this last text I sent her, it was written  before I even realized what was wrong with her and before I found this site. I go back to read it many times a day now, just to remind me of how I felt.


I want to say something to you that comes from concern and not anger. You need to stop trying to prove your innocence, your reactions reflect your guilitness. Ok, the damage here is done. You have lied to me and abused me far too long. You are a classc abuser that blames everyone else for your behavior. You really need to get help. You are searching for something your never gonna find. You say you can't be in love, it's b/c you don't love yourself. And until you fix this problem you will continue on this path of destruction. Moving from one person to the next leaving many behind that truly loved you. So, stop worrying about what I think and move on to your next victim. U have another heart to destroy now. So leave me and mine alone. I now see you for what you truly are and I have to let go so the healing can begin. I truly hope you will one day get the help you need. Goodbye!


As I said, this was written pre knwledgement of her condition. Wow! After she received this... she blocked my number.

[Clearmind]

It's amazing how we see and recognize the behaviors without even knowing about BPD at the time.

She may have blocked your number but still be on guard.

Happienss to you Card.

[MindfulJavaJoe]

I can understand you frustrations and you desire to say what you said. I used to feel if my wife would only listen then she would see my pint of view. Remember you are not dealing with a rational person.

A pwBPD will not believe what you have said is true because they have no insight into their condition. They have to want to change before they are open to seeing their patterns of behaviour.

Time to let go an start to look after yourself. You can only control yourself. Be kind to yourself.

You are already making positive steps in the right direction.

[ve01603]

I wanted to share with you the last words I spoke to my exBPD 8 days ago. I feel much better now with NC, but it is a daily struggle. The interesting thing about this last text I sent her, it was written  before I even realized what was wrong with her and before I found this site. I go back to read it many times a day now, just to remind me of how I felt.


I want to say something to you that comes from concern and not anger. You need to stop trying to prove your innocence, your reactions reflect your guilitness. Ok, the damage here is done. You have lied to me and abused me far too long. You are a classc abuser that blames everyone else for your behavior. You really need to get help. You are searching for something your never gonna find. You say you can't be in love, it's b/c you don't love yourself. And until you fix this problem you will continue on this path of destruction. Moving from one person to the next leaving many behind that truly loved you. So, stop worrying about what I think and move on to your next victim. U have another heart to destroy now. So leave me and mine alone. I now see you for what you truly are and I have to let go so the healing can begin. I truly hope you will one day get the help you need. Goodbye!


As I said, this was written pre knwledgement of her condition. Wow! After she received this... she blocked my number.

So true but so sad.

[ve01603]

I can understand you frustrations and you desire to say what you said. I used to feel if my wife would only listen then she would see my pint of view. Remember you are not dealing with a rational person. A pwBPD will not believe what you have said is true because they have no insight into their condition. They have to want to change before they are open to seeing their patterns of behaviour.

Time to let go an start to look after yourself. You can only control yourself. Be kind to yourself.

You are already making positive steps in the right direction.

I always felt the same.

[atwitsend]

Hi Card and best of luck with your recovery... .interesting that a similar text led to the same reaction---I've been blocked too.

She (they) have little threshold for truth.

[rollercoasterrider]

My last words are still pending.  Our r/s is ending soon,  we have already discussed it.  She knows.  At one level she is being strong and moving forward with plans to move out.  On the other, more BPD level, she is trying to engage in much more control and manipulation to stop it from happening.

My final words are likely to be hers where she paints me black, blaming me for our failures, blaming me for not fixing our failures, and telling me she hopes I choke on "finding myself".  Her final words are all the validation I need that I did the right thing.

I looked at old messages I sent to myself during this r/s via my journal entries.  It amazes me how long I felt the pain, accepted the pain, justified her actions and invalidated my feelings.  I could probably show my journal to you all, and you would say... ."Hey, he stole my journal"... .LOL.   I dare to bet I have your final words somewhere in my journal too... .LOL.

Best of luck to you.

[Finallyfree123]

Card1: what you wrote was very insightful. I think all of us saw things in our pwBPD that led us to this board. I also think what you wrote can apply to most of our r/s.

I called my ex out on these things but at the time he was painting me so black my words were not as diplomatic as yours. In the back of my mind I knew I was doing it in hopes that he would just think so ill of me I would never have to deal with him again.

These people are VERY sick. I hope you move forward and heal and take care of you! Hi!

[ve01603]

Card1: what you wrote was very insightful. I think all of us saw things in our pwBPD that led us to this board. I also think what you wrote can apply to most of our r/s.

I called my ex out on these things but at the time he was painting me so black my words were not as diplomatic as yours. In the back of my mind I knew I was doing it in hopes that he would just think so ill of me I would never have to deal with him again.

These people are VERY sick. I hope you move forward and heal and take care of you! Hi!

[/color]

They sure are.  Unbelievable.

[learnedtolaugh]

I like the part about intolerance for truth. I look at how I feel about the lies now and it seems to match how she felt about when I would point out the plain truth. How bizarre!

I had given last words a couple times already. This last time I didn't even waste my breath. Straight to NC. I had already explained a dozen times and I caught her in the middle of bad behavior again. It wasn't going to stop and me staying around only made it worse and validated it.

[blender]

Mine said she was moving to NC - meaning North Carolina.  I told her I was moving to NC meaning NO CONTACT.  She is wicked and mean.  I also used many of your phrases.   I told her to go find her next victim (or her old - meaning her ex).  She'll be back.  They always come back.  Keeping me in MY NC is tough.  I wish us all luck.

[bdpkok]

Exact thing happened to me!

I wrote a txt dealing with the same words. After two weeks of the break up I met an old friend of mine, telling him the situation about the break with my BPDgf and how she stole great amounts of my energy and my self esteem. I remember he pointed the with a fraze: "emotinal vampires"... .I come to home, googled the fraze "emotional vampires", investigated a little and come here!(thx God!)

Till that moment I had an lighbulb effect and the dots became to connected... .It was amazing discovery and self realization because I stared to blame myself and have verry mean thoghts about my self that i am guilty for everything that happend in the relationship.

One more time I thank GOD that I met this freind of mine and that I started to realize what really was happend in my relationship.

Thaky You !

[Beach_Babe]

we can have all the "last words" we want, but it really wont matter to our pwBPD... .

[ve01603]

we can have all the "last words" we want, but it really wont matter to our pwBPD... .

Yeah.  Not like it sinks in or anything.

[Beach_Babe]

what were your last words (after calling them out on all their lies and bs)?

I told her she was a sociopath... figured I had nothing to lose at that point since she had already screwed me out of $7k, told everyone at rehab center I was stalking her and attached to a new host organism

[2010]

I want to say something to you that comes from concern and not anger. So, stop worrying about what I think and move on to your next victim. U have another heart to destroy now.

"Concern and not anger"?

That's anger.

I truly hope you will one day get the help you need. Goodbye!  After she received this... she blocked my number.

You didn't leave her any other choice.  So now you have to stick to the boundary you've drawn- otherwise you run the risk of going back on your word.  

[GlennT]

This illness is not a separate part of them... IT IS THEM. It's in their DNA. Like when cancer permeates a living body, you have to destroy both to get rid of the cancer, so it is with them. They feel when you call them out on their nonsense, it is like destroying the deepest part of them, and all of them, and that's why they either project or run with their BPD ball and block. It is not curable. For the 2% who seem cured, the disease is still there... they have only alleviated the symptoms.

[ve01603]

This illness is not a separate part of them... IT IS THEM. It's in their DNA. Like when cancer permeates a living body, you have to destroy both to get rid of the cancer, so it is with them. They feel when you call them out, it is destroying the deepest part of them, and all of them, and that's why they run with the ball and block.

Thanks for that.  Mine had a break down May of 2010, not to mention blood pressure of 209/114.  After his brother and I took him to the hospital and then I nursed him back to health, he left me because he felt like he was exposed, I think.

Make sense?

[Beach_Babe]

yeah ve01603, perfect sense.

good riddance to the "cancer" is all i can say

[ve01603]

yeah ve01603, perfect sense.

good riddance to the "cancer" is all i can say

Thanks.

[learnedtolaugh]

NC=Chemo