Finally on holidays, triggers everywhere

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

So I'm finally on a months leave, having left my little bush town for melbourne.

What's caught me by surprise is how much I'm being triggered since arriving here. Like many, my wife prided herself in looks and beauty and walking through shopping centres and crowded streets is very unsettling. I see my ex everywhere and think about her constantly.

I guess this is my test now, put my teachings to practice and gently ease myself into these social situations so that I don't feel so upset.

*update* yep burst into tears in a department store, how embarrassing! As difficult as this has been, im taking this as a challenge, by the end of the four weeks I want to walk into our old favorite stores and feel indifferent.

It's a good reminder that healing from our breakups is not a quick process... .not one bit!

[Ahoy]

So I'm finally on a months leave, having left my little bush town for melbourne.

What's caught me by surprise is how much I'm being triggered since arriving here. Like many, my wife prided herself in looks and beauty and walking through shopping centres and crowded streets is very unsettling. I see my ex everywhere and think about her constantly.

I guess this is my test now, put my teachings to practice and gently ease myself into these social situations so that I don't feel so upset.

*update* yep burst into tears in a department store, how embarrassing! As difficult as this has been, im taking this as a challenge, by the end of the four weeks I want to walk into our old favorite stores and feel indifferent.

It's a good reminder that healing from our breakups is not a quick process... .not one bit!

[once removed]

i like your attitude, Ahoy 

personally, im not surprised that youre feeling triggered. one could appear on the other side of the world, and the ghosts would follow, the pain would be there.

sometimes doing the healthiest stuff, the stuff we "should" do like getting back our normal routine, or even getting physical distance and space, can trigger, or even create the capacity for pain we havent yet fully processed. the silver lining there is that its all progress really.

youre right that healing is not a quick process. give yourself time and dont put too much pressure on yourself; if things dont always go as expected, it can create/heighten feelings of failure.

[gotbushels]

Try Mornington for a day or two. The weather in June should guarantee you some quiet.

Have a restful leave Ahoy:)

[steelwork]

sometimes doing the healthiest stuff, the stuff we "should" do like getting back our normal routine, or even getting physical distance and space, can trigger, or even create the capacity for pain we havent yet fully processed. the silver lining there is that its all progress really.

Yep, this. I guess you could warp your life to avoid any possible triggers, but then you'd never process the feelings that are in there waiting to surface. This is not a setback, it's a leap forward. Take yourself out to the movies if you need somewhere to cry in public. It can feel good.

[sweet tooth]

Ahoy, I start getting teary eyed somewhat frequently when I see or hear something that reminds me of my ex. I'd say a few times a week. There have been crying sessions, too. I've cried myself to sleep a number of times.

[KarmasReal]

I've noticed something similar to what onceremoved said to my situation. It's strange the further I pull away, try to go out an meet people, do my normal pre relationship routine, the more pain and hurt I feel. I thought doing these things would help ease it but it feels like it makes it worse. I'm not sure if it's because subconsciously these things are triggering me to be aware my ex is no longer in my life my life is going back to the way it was before her and that's just a painful realization. That's the only thing I can think of, it's necessary to do, but extremely hard sometimes.