I don't know how to do this

[atomic popsicles]

I don't know how to get through this. My pwBPD is delusional. Like, full on delusional. He's being mind controlled, is a sex slave, is a God, has special gifts, can control the weather... .

I was living with this and then he became convinced he had a baby with Prince, who he says was a woman and is contacting him from the other side. He thinks he has many many children from 20 years ago and needs to go find them and support them. I was even handling the hours and hours of crying about this and the anger.

Last night he told me that he loves me and wants to stay married to me but my old fashioned values that he says are based on lies the church used to control people -values about being faithful to our marriage- he can no longer live with. He thinks he will be unfaithful to me on this mythical journey to meet fictional children that he completely believes exist. He says that I am being selfish- that because he is special and has these spiritual gifts God has commanded him to share his love.

I'm sure he's not having an affair yet, unless you count emotional affairs with dead celebrities. I have cried until I can't cry. And the full measure if just how messed up I am is that I'm more worried about his faithfulness than his mental health... .because there is nothing I can do for someone who refuses treatment. I do know he can hide delusions from his doctor and does not meet criteria for harming himself or others. HE IS 100% opposed to treatment of any kind.

I asked him how this was going to happen... .are we just going to go on like this until he one day gets on a plane and it's like, oh, I guess our marriage is over because you're going to screw around and I can't take it. He said he has no idea how it will go down because he is just trying to get through the day.

I know I have done all the wrong things. But I'm heartbroken, and nothing I say matters. Even with all his issues I was ok but this is devastating and I don't know how to get through it. I am powerless. How do I stay in this marriage each day when he's pining away for fictional women and is planning to be unfaithful?

I reread this and I see all the codependency. I guess I'm just as messed up as he is. I realize this is way more than BPD but I have nowhere else to turn. I don't know what to do. I just know I want my husband back.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[atomic popsicles]

He says he's feeling trapped. At least I know the emotion and the trigger. Now what?

[Naughty Nibbler]

ATOMIC POPCSCLES:

I'm so sorry for what you are going through!  I believe you previously stated that your partner,  "is a disabled vet with a history of ptsd/tbi."  It must be frightening when your partner has delusions.

Are you able to go for some counseling for yourself?  It can be helpful to talk with someone, even if your partner won't get counseling. A brain injury can cause delusional thinking.  You need to stay safe and take care of yourself.

There are a few links below you might want to check out.

DEFENSE AND VETERANS BRAIN INJURY CENTER

www.dvbic.dcoe.mil/locations

Crisis Intervention (24/7)

Department of Veterans Affairs

Military & Veterans Crisis Line

800-273-8255, press 1

HERE ARE A COUPLE ARTICLES ON BRAIN INJURY AND MENTAL ILLNESS[/]

www.sciencenordic.com/head-injury-can-cause-mental-illness

www.healthline.com/health/psychosis

[atomic popsicles]

Thank you to all who read my post and the reply.

I came home to my husband in a complete psychotic break. He destroyed my children's rooms- broken furniture, broken beds, holes in the walls through to other rooms. Everything dumped. He was apparently convinced my ex husband was entering our house.

I was forced to get a restraining order and change locks. He texted to tell me he would never see me without a 3rd party, to not contact anyone in his family, and that he would be serving me with separation papers shortly.

My marriage is over, my kids terrified, and I stand to lose everything. I cannot try to get back together. I have not had time to grieve and miss the man I used to love. If I do that I might not recover. He loved me and my kids once. The crazy thing? His mom now seems mad at me. Last night I was trying to save a marriage and tonight I'm sleeping with 3 teenagers and 2 dogs in my bed.