Good... .glad you are back in house.
Take a breather... .and then when you get a chance... .lay out your plan for the next week or so.
Where do you go from here.
Thanks Formflier. I've kitted out my 7 seater German SUV as my command module Nickname "Gravitas'. I drive it to, and do business from the most beautiful places in Cape Town and enjoy my plush airconditioned mobile office. Laptop, internet and phone in the middle seats - like a limosine with darkened windows. Portable fridge. with what ever I want to eat or drink, and I conduct my business from it. I can even sleep in it. I had it cleaned immaculately today and is my calm place in the storm. I can leave for a week if I want to, and be fully contained. This was important to create my own space which it immaculately maintained and organised to the last shirt, pants and suit therein. do my washing every monday at home and retreat to 'Gravitas', wherever I need to. I play my faviourite music loud, and I am myself in wisemind. So first objective is get me secure and functioning, in a space that is mine.
Next step, to get and agreement by family counsellor that peace will reign for the next 5 weeks while the children gear up for exams. I've scheduled the appointment, but haven't yet invited W. Not sure whether to involve or give her the opportunity to make a scene.
Hi Moselle. I just want to pop in and tell you that I have been thinking about you and wondering how things are going. How are you holding up?
I hope you hand heals quickly.
Thanks Harri. I pulled he stitches too soon 7 days, should have been 10 because the wound opened up again. See above objective is to get the kids before someone where ht\\the family can agree not to argue for the next 5 weeks while exams go ahead
I am an adult child of a mother with BPD. My parents are both 60 and have had a tumultuous relationship their entire marriage. I can unequivocally say I wish my father had grown a backbone years ago and left my mother. Regardless of who initiates the divorce she will find a way to be the victim. My mother is getting ready to leave my father for the 2nd time in 7 months (she moved across country for a few months before coming back).She says she's moving bc my dad isn't talking to her or sleeping with her and you can't have a marriage if only one person wants it. She omitted saying he's not talking to her bc she want him to move too. They have moved 6 times in the last 4 years alone and my father told her before she came back the last time that he wasn't moving again. I know this is not identical to your situation but I just wanted to give you some perspective as a child growing up in that environment and what I see my dad go through on a daily basis. Good luck to you and your kids.
I can sense a similar dynamic, just different situations. Thanks for sharing. It is a difficult time.
Moselle,
Do you have a therapist to help you work through this process?
Have you talked to an experienced divorce attorney?
Yep I have one clever laywer and one who is shrewd. They can argue it out about what to do. I listen and decide what's best for me.
Also have a fantastic therapist
