Final Statement for CE

[Thunderstruck]

We have an opportunity to send the CE a final statement before she starts writing her report. Any suggestions on what to include?

Right now I'm thinking:

- highlight that we have the stable home versus uBPDbm who only has a 1 bedroom and can't keep a job for more than a year

- reiterate the ways she has tried to damage DH and SD10's relationship (blocking phone calls, false accusations of abuse and drug use, placing SD10 in the middle of a push-pull)

- state the ways that our PP (us having full decision and majority time) would improve SD10s life (she can be in more activities, a more stable, consistent schedule, consistent discipline, homework help/tutoring)

- state that our PP tries to eliminate any conflict (uBPDbm can't even discuss and agree on what two weeks she wants during the summer, how is she going to discuss with DH and agree on major issues?).

What sounds good? We'll have to go through our state's guidelines and make sure we covered everything pretty well.

[livednlearned]

I didn't have to do anything like this, so can't be of much help.

When I filed to modify custody, both for legal and for visitation, every sentence was framed in terms of how it impacted S13.

I do think there are key words that can communicate things very clearly -- it took me four years to collect them from court, listening to the judge and lawyers use them.

Words like "stonewalling" "high-conflict" "trigger" "failure to comply"

And for me, "consistent" "stable" "reasonable" "pro-active" "committed."

[ForeverDad]

You are seeking your Parenting Plan to be recommended for the order so that you can reduce the likelihood of returning to court over and over.  No one will expect it to resolve all future court action but a good order should keep it to a minimum.

Also, I noticed my custody evaluator did not create a report as lengthy as others I've read about here.  His initial report (before my ex caused the pediatrician to "withdraw services", etc) was only 11 pages.  The summary was just one page, the focus was so simple and clear.  Although both my lawyer and the evaluator initially warned me not to expect much, it was favorable.  He did review what he discerned about each of us but he zeroed in on our ability to share or not.

You need to get the best temp order possible.  If you already have one, then you need to seek the best final order possible.  I recall my custody evaluator's perceptive conclusion in the initial report.  "... . Mother cannot share 'her' child but Father can... . Mother should immediately lose temporary custody... . If Shared Parenting is tried and fails then Father should have custody."