Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 02, 2024, 01:56:19 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Insecurities
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Insecurities (Read 356 times)
mtmc01
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 169
Insecurities
«
on:
April 15, 2013, 03:45:31 AM »
I don't know if this is a common theme with BPD, but my ex gf HAD to verbalize every single insecurity she had. This was something that really started to wear on me over time. I'd initially always try and reassure her the best I could, but after hearing over and over about all of the body hair she had to get removed, how much she hates her ears, how her head is an odd shape, how she has cellulite, how she hates her body, etc., etc. it became hard to not start seeing the faults that she kept hammering into my head. And I feel terrible that I was affected by it, by my god, how much of that is a person supposed to be able to take? I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on, and I still thought she was beautiful, but that stuff still got to me. It's like on some level she was TRYING to make me less attracted to her. Men, just like women, are attracted to confidence. And, over the course of our relationship, I became more confident and comfortable around her. But, she just kept being insecure.
Logged
VeryFree
Formerly known as 'VeryScared' and 'ABitAnnoyed'
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 549
Re: Insecurities
«
Reply #1 on:
April 15, 2013, 03:52:26 AM »
Mine would do that on and off.
First she would point out her weaknesses (that she found, I didn't go there), but some time laer she would argue everybody (including me, who never made remarks!) should take her for who she is.
A day later she would become insecure again and so on.
Logged
GreenMango
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4326
Re: Insecurities
«
Reply #2 on:
April 15, 2013, 06:56:15 AM »
This disorder is characterized by a fear of abandonment and rejection. Part of the abandoned child schema that defines the thinking of a person with BPD or BPD traits are things like:
I will always be alone.
Everyone leaves me eventually.
Im impossible to love.
Everyone eventually hurts or betrays me.
It's a script that plagues the persons thoughts, emotions and eventually behavior. It's a longstanding and pervasive pattern that affects their interpersonal relationships to an extreme.
Unfortunately the fears are stronger than your love. And its not something you love out of a person. Your love and commitment gets tested repeatedly until these self fulfilling prophecies come to fruition to prove the thoughts as true or valid. It's a script.
We all have a script - its just a person with BPD's is pretty negative. Imagine believing these thoughts and being riddled with these fears most days.
Logged
paperlung
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 448
Re: Insecurities
«
Reply #3 on:
April 15, 2013, 01:09:42 PM »
Wow, I can totally relate to your post. My ex was super insecure about her appearance and would explain to me specially why all the time. The number one thing she would complain about was her nose. I never thought anything of it, but as she continued to tell me how much she hated it and wanted a nose job, I started to see her nose as one of her flaws as well.
Other things about her she was insecure about:
Teeth/smile
Lips
Ears
Hair
Breasts
Butt
Her V
Stretch marks
Stomach
Eye lids
Chin
Legs
Her side profile
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Insecurities
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...